Truth or Dare or Drink

Chapter 30 - The End

"All things must come to end. its inevitable. It also really fucking sucks. There's nothing more soul sucking and down-right horrendous than being forced to close the chapter in your life that feels like it should never end. No matter how hard you try, and trust me I have, it will end. On its own terms, at its own pace, when you're not expecting it, and definitely when you are not ready.

That's how this felt. Blue caps and gowns and a piece of paper with my name scrawled fancy across it. Anderson Gold. what a beautiful sight that will be. If I make it to that point that is. With every waking day of it getting closer and closer I feel myself hoping for time to stop more and more. Stop as I lay in bed with the person I love more than anything  in the entire world sound asleep in my arms. The light hitting his face in an angelic way that I will possibly never witness again. Every day could be the last time I do this again. 

So I do what I must. I hold him a little tighter. Say I love you more often. And hope to God that this next chapter of my life allows me to keep doing this. That the sadistic author of this traitorous story allows me that one request."

The switch from the far corner of the room opposite of the windows flips on as the blinding lights makes Connor shut his eyes tight for a second, not used to how bright it had got so suddenly. He held the piece of paper tight in his grip as if he didn't the non existent wind would have it flying away unable for him to catch up to. When he opened his eyes the first person he saw was smiling brighter than any light could ever be. His sun. 

He kept eye contact as the silence was disrupted around him as his classmates clapped for him. it didn't sound loud though. Nothing did. Everything sounded like it was miles away barely above a whisper as he blocked it out in favour of the boy sitting in-front of him. His own smile must have been twice as wide as he felt relief course through his body. This was it. 

His teacher was the first to speak. Thanking Connor for his 'bravery' to present to the class first. He felt like a child receiving a gold star of praise. He didn't mention anything about it. Just gave a shrug to his teacher and step down from the slightly elevated floor and walked back to his desk. 

Seconds after seating he felt a tug on his wrist. Small and gentle like if it was anything more it would break him. He looked to his side making eye contact with Anders once again. His smile has yet to fall from his face as his big joyous eyes somehow widened more than he thought was possible.

"That was incredible! You are incredible!" Anders gushed in a quiet whisper wanting to keep the conversation away from nosey ears. Connor wanted to ask if his cheeks were beginning to hurt from all the puffed up smiling he was doing, but he chose against that, bowing his head down to hide his forming blush. His ears felt hot, like steam would form from them at any minute.

"Shut up, it wasn't anything special." His voice was quieter then he thought was possible. He barely heard it himself and would be surprised if Anders was able to even catch what he had said. He didn't receive any response after that. Wether it was due to the next presenter beginning or just a lack of ability to respond, he did not know. He kept his head down for the rest of class but his hand was held tightly in the palm of the other boy. Mindless circle being rubbed into his skin by Anders' thumb. It was nice. This was nice.

The bell rang before he knew it and signalled not only the end of class for the day, but also the last mandatory day for seniors. It was over. For real this time. He was no longer going to be a high school senior another day in his life. A shiver ran down his back from a large palm being placed on the centre of his spine.

"You doing okay?" Connor, truthfully, did not know the answer to that question. He had been feeling weird all day. He was not sure what this feeling was. He knew he was nervous for the end of it all. He could figure that out but there was this added feeling. One that was unidentifiable to him and his very limited knowledge of despair. It was this black pit sat at the bottom of his stomach. Like a hunger that could never be fulfilled.

"Yah I'm fine just a little tired. it will pass I'm sure." He gave a weak smile and grabbed his things suddenly feeling a bit light. He was met with a steady arm around his waist holding him up and directing him out the door to where their friends stood waiting for them. 

Sam was the first of the group to notice the two approaching waving a hand with a smile. Before they could get even close enough to hear what was being said within the circle Connor was being quickly redirected by the hand on his waist. They were heading in the opposite direction of everyone else. 

"Where are we going?" Connor bumped shoulders with excited seniors and tired freshman both alike trying to leave the building where the rest of their lives await for them. Anders did not answer the question only gave a glance down to Connor a small smile making its way on his face. The height difference between the two was not a big one but when they were like this, close and unaware of anyone else around, Connor felt a lot smaller than he really was. 

They made their way into an abandoned hallway, Connor can't remember ever being in this part of the school. It had a row of unused lockers but no classrooms. It felt a bit creepy with the broken light fixture signalling the lack of care. He did not have much time to dwell on the feeling as he was being turned once again this time down the hallway to where the school gymnasium leads. They took the long way that gives you access to the tech room where the A/V club control light and sound for events held in the gym. The door was typically left locked though to prevent anyone from stealing the expensive equipment.

When the two boys made eye contact again Connor quirked an eyebrow up in question but Anders only responded with that same goofy smile he has had on all day. When they reached the door the lights inside the room flowed out from under it. It was cracked just slightly for just about anyone to walk into, but the room already had people inside. A laugh so quiet Connor almost missed it was on the other side of the door.

When they pushed through the owner of the laugh looked up. Christa smiled at them as she stepped back from the light board allowing them to step there instead. They looked through the window that faced the staged. It was pitch black and Connor was still confused on what was going on. 

"Are you finally going to tell me what's happening or..." he trailed off as he looked back towards Anders away from the window. He was met with an eye roll and a snort from Christa who stood behind them.

"You're such an idiot."

"I am not an-" Connor couldn't even finish his sentence before he was being turned around and a light switch was being flipped on to reveal a lit up gymnasium stage. He could not help it as his smile grew wider than he's ever smiled before. He could feel his cheeks aching at the action but he does not care. "I love you."

"So, is that a yes or...?"

"Shut up, of course I will go to prom with you, dumbass."

"Oh thank God because I had to bribe a lot of people to pull this-" Connor cut his rambling boyfriend off before he could finish his sentence, kissing him so hard as he laughed into the other boys mouth. Anders hands found their way to Connors waist as he deepened the kiss. Before anything else happened though they were cut off by a fake gaging sound from the other side of the room.

"Not to ruin the moment but we have about three minutes before Principal Landoff finds us where we are most definitely not supposed to be." Christa announced as she began fixing the lights to leave. 

The two boys laughed as they made their way out waving to Christa as she basically shooed them away. Connor felt the sinking feeling that purged his insides only half an hour earlier slowly dissipate as he stared at his boyfriend laughing at a joke that isn't funny. He felt a warm feeling take its place instead, like he was being eaten by the sun from the inside-out. All he could think in that moment was he was happy. Truly, undeniably, totally happy.

He guesses that Truth or Dare or Drink isn't such a stupid party game after all.

Fini

...

And thats all folks! Thank you for coming on this trip with me the past four years it was truly incredible. I have changed so much since then and I'm happy that I get to share this story beginning to end as a reminder of where I was and where I am now. I love you all.

Signing off for the very last time, Less :)