Have I forgotten how to love; remind me once again

Chapter Fifteen

A/N Let's not overdo it with the happy chapters...

Louis pretends to be asleep on the couch as Anne leaves around ten o'clock, too exhausted for long goodbyes or explaining why his eyes are red from crying again. Liam drives her to the station and Harry simply tags along - the doctor recommending he abstains from driving until his head is better. Before she leaves, Anne crouches down next to the couch and trails a soft thumb across Louis' high cheekbones. "It will be alright", she whispers softly, knowing very well that Louis isn't asleep, but still not pressing for a response.

When Niall comes to check on him about half an hour later, Louis keeps his eyes shut until he's almost certain the room is once more empty. However, when he opens his eyes slightly, he instantly gets eye contact with Niall who is looking at him from Harry's chair.

Louis just turns around, facing the back of the couch as he swallows down the sobs threating to breach the silence. Niall lets him be, but he doesn't leave the room either and Louis can feel his friend's eyes searching his body for the signs of discomfort he can do nothing to deteriorate.

Of course, Louis can't pretend to be asleep forever. He can however get up, walk up the stairs and lock himself in the bathroom just as Liam and Harry return, big smiles covering their faces, triggering a pang of jealousy that tugs harshly at Louis' heart. He wants nothing more than to be the one who makes Harry smile like that. Like he used to be.

He takes a shower, then a bath, dragging out the time he can lock himself away while he desperately prays for the steaming water to boil away the dull ache rushing through his body.

At last, he's pulled from his daze in the bathtub by a careful knock on the door, Harry's voice sounding outside. "Um, Louis".

"Hmm?", he responds, sitter up a little straighter, as Harry continues. "Can I maybe come in for a second? I promise I won't look, but I think I have to change the bandages because there's a bit of blood coming through".

Instant worry floods Louis' body as he tries getting to his feet a little too quickly, almost slipping when he steps out of the tub, quickly wrapping a towel around his waist and unlocking the door. As promised, Harry doesn't look at him, but Louis kind of wishes he would. Just a glance. Anything, really.

He doesn't though, just grabs the small bag with supplies, fumbling a bit to make sure everything he needs is there. "I can help", Louis offers, "Just give me a second and I'll get dressed." Now that Harry does look at him, Louis wishes he hadn't because there's nothing but awkwardness radiating from his green eyes as he begins edging his way out of the room, eyes never leaving Louis' face.

"No, no. It's fine. I can do it myself". Then the door is closing, Louis not even bothering to lock it again as he lets the towel drop, stepping back into the tub where the water is no longer warm. As soon as he sits down, Louis lets his body slide further down until his head is completely under water, exhaling the air from his lunges in a storm of bubbles, hoping the ache from forcing himself to keep from breathing for as long as he possibly can, will overwhelm everything else. It doesn't.

***

There's no denying the weird mood as Louis returns downstair, having run out of reasonable excuses for taking up the bathroom for several hours. As he reaches the last step, Louis sees that Harry's silhouette is the only one in the living room, and he presumes that the door he heard about half an hour earlier was the other boys. Maybe they've gone home to get some things. Or maybe they just needed a breather from the horribly pressing mood swiveling around every corner of the room. He can't really blame them for that.

It looks as if Harry is resting his head in his hands where he's seated on the couch, and Louis wants him to stop looking so lost so he carefully steps into the room. A small sigh reaches Louis' ears as he steps closer, and hesitantly he breaks the silence, "Um... Harry?"