Golden guard x reader Oneshots, hc, and stories

Baking with a bully (I love you, but I can't 1/?)

Tranquility, something you've found to be rather rare since you left the human realm. Not on purpose of course, you ended up here by luck. Rather lousy luck at that. You have the day off and finally some peace and quiet to enjoy a good book and some human music.

"Oh human~" Someone beyond you door says. You sigh wishing they would just go away, you need some time to yourself!

"Who is it?" You ask begrudgingly.

"The fact you can't tell who this is based on my voice and the fact I called you human proves humans are stupider than witches." The figure states. You roll your eyes at this statement. 

"I knew exactly who you were. I was hoping someone was impersonating you. Then I wouldn't have to deal with a selfish, stuck up, suck up." You state rather angry. You get up and open the door, the Golden Guard is standing there, as you assumed. He leaned down to your height/stayed where he stood.

"You know, you should be nicer and smile more." Goldie smirked. You couldn't see it but you could tell.

"Tell me to smile more after you die." You state without hesitation. A fake polite smile forms on your face, clearly annoyed with the guard in front of you.

"Anyway, human, I was bored, show me some weird human things." The Golden Guard says demandingly. Who does he think he is? Treating you like that then demanding you show him human things?

"No thanks witch." You respond shutting the door. 

"Fine, be that way." He states angerly.

Timeskip

You were walking down to the kitchen, alone, as you wanted. You want something sweet to recover from the Golden Guard being a complete self centered thing. You finally made it down recipe book in hand, and an apron. You selected a fairly easy recipe. Chocolate chip cookies. 

A few minutes in to gathering ingredients and prepping bowls and cooking vessels, a particular person comes in the room.

"So human, what are you making?" The Golden Guard, who seemed determined to annoy you, asked.

"Who said it was any of you business? Does it affect you? No. Do you affect it? No. Are you just trying to annoy me while I'm doing something I genuinely enjoy from home because I can't go back to my home and do it there? Yes! You are! Now if you'd please leave me alone for one freaking day that'd be great! Just one stupid day!" You yell. He looks stunned for a second.

"I'm sorry. I honestly just wanted to help but I don't really know how to ask. Sorry." He began to leave but you stopped him.

"Ask nicely and you are welcome to help. Just drop the self centered "I'm the best" act, okay?" You kindly ask him.

"But I am the best!" He says jokingly.

"Do you want to help make chocolate chip cookies or not?" You say threateningly.

"I do, I do!" He quickly says.

"Good, now, we need to combine sugar and butter first, can you do that?" You ask kindly.

"Ma'am yes ma'am!" He yells like a military soldier. You both start laughing uncontrollably.

"Where in the boiling isles did you learn that?" You ask still laughing.

"Books. Apparently you also shoot venom, nail barbed wire to your teeth, and like bottle flipping and Fortnite, whatever that is." Goldie states.

"... you are so wrong about humans. We do not shoot venom, and that barbed wire is called braces to make you teeth straight, (if you have braces) in fact, I have them right now, and bottle flipping is a dead trend, and Fortnite is a game which some people, usually overly aggressive nine year olds, shoot other people's characters. Which is also a dying trend." You state laughing hysterically.

"Wow, we know literally nothing about humans, okay then." Goldie states.

Timeskip

The cookies are finally done! You and Goldie are enjoying the cookies and now you are so much closer than you were before. 

"I'm sorry, I have to go meet with emperor Belos right now, after I'll run over to your room so we can hang out some more, okay?" The boy you now know as Hunter tells you.

"Alright, see you later Hunter!" You bid him farewell, and he leaves. 

You don't have feelings for him, right?

Hunter pov

"What have you found out about the human?" Emperor Belos asks firmly.

"She's very funny, she enjoys baking, reading, human music, and-" I start but I'm cut off by a vine nearly decapitating me.

"You best not be falling for her, we wouldn't want a scandal now would we? What have you found about the human realm." Belos says with anger.

I can't love her, but I want to.

A/n

Should I make a part two of this? Maybe a series?

I have some theories on the newer TOH episodes, want to hear them?