Silence - A Nigerian Teen Fiction

Alone

I am alone
Alone at school
Alone when at home
Alone in my room
Alone with my thoughts
Alone when I sleep
Alone when I wake up
Alone when I cry
Alone when I have panic attacks
Alone amongst people
Alone amongst family
I'll always be alone,
Until I die...
I'll be alone forever.

-Unknown.

*Unedited*

  Divine Favour sat motionless on the bed, staring into space. She felt tired and emotionally drained.

It was only a few minutes until she had to go back to the hellhole called school. I whenever she thought about school, all she could see was a sea of unfamiliar faces.

She felt utterly alone, she couldn't understand how it was possible to stay in the midst of such crowd and yet still feel this lonely.

She didn't think she could bare their inquisitive stares, accusing fingers, giggles and gossip any longer. Jonathan now despised her and her so called friends abandoned her. No one wanted to be associated with the slut as they had put it. She quivered involuntarily, she could still feel their stares, she had felt filthy and naked under their probing gazes and glares.

She flopped unto her bed and casted a glazed look at her ceiling. She wished they'd all leave her alone but no! She was the centre of attraction and the subject of all the gossips and hot gists in school.

She never knew how it felt to be the object of ridicule up until now, it was... Suffocating?

They were all hypocrites, they didn't have the right to judge her. They didn't even try to at least get the real truth or even find out from her, they just took the scurrilous rumors fed to them by others and swallowed it without hesitation.

They twisted and spiced it up for their own entertainment. What the hell did they even know about her? Sometimes, the things she heard of herself would make her wonder of there was another her somewhere that she didn't know of.

There didn't even care about her feelings and try to tone down their gossip whenever she was around and save it for later. She didn't care if they talked about her behind her back but no! They just had to rub it in and they made it a point of duty to make sure she knew and felt worthless.

The malicious stares, the look of disgust many the her way in the hallway, the sniggers, the fingers, the hypocritical sympathetic stare, it was all just overwhelming.

A lone tear ran down her left cheek and she wiped it off immediately with her palm.

Her heart clenched bitterly, the pain was heart wrenching and excruciating and all she wanted to do was to cry it all out but the only thing that made her hold back her tears was the fact that her mom and her sisters we're just few steps away.

She hugged a pillow to her chest and bit into it, crying silently. She didn't even know what to feel. She wanted to kick at everything and vent out all the pent up emotions. She wanted to claw at her hair and pull out every single strand, how she wanted to so badly rip the bedsheets apart, tearing it into millions of tiny pieces.

The anguish was was agonizing, she bit into her tongue so hard that she tasted the metallic liquid in her mouth. All to prevent the scream that was building in her and threatening to escape her lips, all to prevent herself from bursting into uncontrollable sobs.