EMOTIONS

(4) DISAPPOINTMENT

         Most of us probably wish they never have to see any failure or disappointment in life but success without struggles is rarely satisfying. Far too many people, when faced with disappointment, tend to attribute negative life events to their personal failings. They resort to obsessional self-blaming, as they feel ashamed or humiliated of not measuring up to the image of their ideal self.

          As a result, they direct their anger inward, to themselves. It may prompt them to say that they deserved it, that they were not good enough. Others, however, will turn their anger outward toward others, to people who didn’t fulfill their expectations. It will contribute to feelings of spite, vindictiveness, and bitterness.

         As humans, disappointment has already been a part of our lives. We get disappointed with the things we assume that is going to happen but in the end, it does not happen. For instance, you thought you did a good job in your English subject and you expected to receive a high grade. However, the grade that was given to you was below your expectations. Hence, you get frustrated and wonder why were you not able to receive a high grade.

   

        Furthermore, it negatively affects us as a person. We endured all those sleepless nights and exhausting days to work hard and study to get good results. Sometimes even good results are not recognized because it is either us or others who set the standards so high for us that it slowly becomes unbearable at some point. Hence, good becomes nothing and the goal we aim is to be on top or to be the highest.

       Unpleasant as disappointments may be, we can always learn something from them. When we catch ourselves thinking negatively, we should redirect our energy and focus on positive solutions. Although from an unconscious perspective we may be reluctant to let go of a disappointing experience, in the long run, it will be more detrimental to continue holding on.

     Disappointment is not meant to destroy us. If taken in stride, it can strengthen us and make us better. Despite its devastatingly emotional impact, we may even consider encounters with disappointment as journeys toward greater insight and wisdom.

           Yes, there will be disappointments in your life. For some, it can be avoided. However, there are things that we cannot stop. If we get stuck overthinking and blaming ourselves for something that has already happened. We won’t be able to make progress in life. 

           The only way to cope with the obstacles in life is to become tolerant of them. It is through disappointment and unpleasantness that you discover things you have no control over. The best way to address a failure is to acknowledge it and work through it. It is normal to experience disappointment from time to time. It will be difficult. Nevertheless, learning from the setback and moving on is beneficial. It will take some time but learning how to be patient is the key to moving on.