For you| Pedro Pascal

24. Shots

"Cut! Andy, I need more. Come on," a male voice says. I simply nod and reset my position. "Wait! This one's good, I think I can work with this. I don't want to force it, but Andy. These next few days, I need more." Max walked by me, smiling. "Hey, good morning," he says, raising his cup of coffee to his lips. "Hey. Well I've been here for seven hours. Do I still have to say it back?" I say. He rolls his eyes. "I guess not grumps. How's it going?" He leans against the back wall. "It's going. Three days in and I'm already planning my days off. Oh, and I wanted to thank you again for last week," I say. "You don't have to thank me for an impulse trip to New York Andy," Max starts. "I know that it wasn't just an impulse trip. But I think it was fun, you know, taking the weekend and sight seeing and all that. I needed it."

His face is bright with a smile creeping through. "I have to go," i say, spinning on my heel before he had time to keep the conversation going. I know that even talking to him will extend some kind of invite to flirt or just spend time with me. That isn't what I need nor what I even want. I missed Pedro. He hasn't called me in days and I would be lying if I told anyone I was fine. I feel completely shattered and I lost two people in such a short span that I don't even know why I'm here. I agreed to do this role when I knew I had it planned out and I wasn't going to be alone. Not only two hours had passed since the main office notified us of Pedro's departure from the management team.

He's gone. It's your fault that he's gone. And he's not going to come back to some sad, lost actress. I shake the thoughts out of my head. I felt a tug at my arm and was spun around. "Hey." It was Cassie. "Hey. Sorry I spaced out and didn't see you," I explain. "Did you know?" She asked. I gave her a blank look. "Know what?" I asked. "Oh Andy come on. Pedro leaving? Did he tell you?" She asked. "I didn't Cassie. He didn't say anything about it." She looks shocked at my reasons. "How did he just make this decision without dropping hints about it?" I looked at her with truthful eyes."We haven't spoken since New York." Cassie looks confused and I keep going before she asks another question. "Anyways, I don't think he would have told me even if we were speaking, he knew I would have tried to convince him he was making the wrong choice." She gives me a sympathetic look. "Was it? The wrong choice?" I shrugged and looked down. "The way things are now? It probably was the right decision. Us having to sit through meetings together and sharing management teams probably wouldn't have worked for very long. I'm only out here for this movie. I'm back in New York after this." Cassie was about to protest, as always. I hold a hand up. "Before you say anything about new jobs out here, I don't want them. I want to go home. I'm here because I thought he would be here. I thought the three of us would be in the same side of the globe. But somehow, everything ended up so differently. He dropped his projects, stayed in New York. He's not here Cass. And I don't even have the heart to talk to him right now. I have to go." I'm wiping tears and quickly walking to my dressing room.

Pushing the door shut, I start removing the clothing that clung tightly to my body. I know the stylist get mad when I do it myself, but they take forever. I looked up to the mirror, witnessing my nude body exposed. I looked up and down. Even with makeup, my eyes were dark. My nose was permanently red. My hair was sad and dry. I placed a hand on my flat abdomen. I felt how empty it was. I knew I was at my lowest point. Between the baby, Pedro, my family, my ex, I'm hitting a point that I can't mentally control anymore. I threw my clothes on, grabbed my purse, and called it a day before anyone stopped me.

***

"Okay, so one more and I think I might have to call it a night," I say, somewhat slurring. All the girls were giggling at the name. "No, Andy oh my god no. If you can still walk, you're not done!" I laughed it off, knowing that I really shouldn't have the "one more" as I was already feeling light on my feet. "One, two, three!" They shouted as they shoved another shot in my hand and we slammed them into the table, then to our lips. It didn't hurt going down anymore, so that was a terrible sign. "Hey, I'm going to go the the restroom really quick," I say, pushing myself up. "Andy, wait! There's a shot left on the table. And it has your name on it!" One of the girls shouted over the loud music. I caved. I grabbed it and slammed it down before walking to the restroom.

Physically making it into the stall was a big enough task before I realized I was completely wasted. The walls were moving. Maybe I was moving? Who knows, all I knew was that I wanted to go home, but could barely stand. I tugged my dress down and pushed the stall door open. You just need to make it outside to get a cab. I was rinsing the soap off when I almost slipped on the water that many had dropped on the floor before me. "Shit." I made my way through the crowded club. Bar? I didn't even know where I was. I snuck past the girls I was having drinks with. I hardly knew any of them, I had just met them at a promo earlier today.

I finally made it outside, the cold air sending chills up my legs. I physically felt ill. The cars passing by were throwing my balance with the various headlights. "Are you alright?" The bouncer asked. I gripped the wall tightly. "I'm fine." I tried extending an arm out for a cab, but instead had to squat down and hold my head for a few minutes. I caved and pulled my phone out from my purse. It rang three times before someone answered. "Andy?" My heart almost skipped. "Hey you." I forced. "What's up? Where are you? You sound off," the groggy voice said. "I feel off. I need help getting home. I," I paused as I felt extremely dizzy. I have never felt this kind of drunk. "Andy, where are you? I'll come and get you." I opened my maps and dropped a pin, then sent it over. "I dropped a pin. Somewhere near East 60th." I looked up to confirm with the street sign. "I'm coming, don't go anywhere. Just wait there."

I sat on the floor, holding my knees tightly to my chest. I knew he didn't live too far from where I was. I felt off. This was a weird and different type of dizzy. The last shot that was left on the table. How long had it been there? Oh god. I stared down at the ground hoping he would show up faster. That was when someone squared down near me. "Hey, I know you from somewhere." I didn't have the energy to even look up. "Please go away," I mutter. An arm tugs me to my feet. "I can take you home instead," his voice creeps down my neck. As he was about to tug me away, another hand was placed on my lower back, a second one supporting my shoulder. "Let her go. Go find someone else to bug," Pedro was there. The man scoffed before walking away. "Hey, hey, hey, look at me. Are you okay?" He took my face into his hands. "I think there was something in my drink P," I heaved those words, gripping onto his jacket. "Let's get you out of here," he said, guiding me into the passenger seat of his car. I curled up, my face close to the center compartment.

Turning my head up, I can already see that he's gotten back in and started driving. The world felt like it was caving in on me. I gripped his arm tightly. "I thought you wouldn't have even answered," I said. The car stopped at a red light, his eyes looking down at me. "Truthfully, I almost didn't. But we hadn't talked in so long, I figured it was important. I'm glad I answered." My heart sank a bit. It hurt knowing that there was a part of him that didn't want to answer the phone. The car ride felt like two minutes when in reality it was probably a twenty minute drive home. I already knew he hadn't brought me home. He took me to his. I sat in silence while he walked over to my door.

He extended a hand over to me. "Let's get you inside." I gripped his arm while I stood up. He guided me to his room. "I can't, it wouldn't be right. The couch is fine," I say, but am interrupted by his soft voice. "Take the bed. Please." I felt the pillow hit my face and darkness overcame before I was ready for it.