By Sin We Fall

Chapter Thirteen

When I saw Nevio's face on the tarmac I couldn't help running toward him. He caught the brunt force of my speed while picking me up, spinning me off the ground. The blur of blinking lights of the airport made me dizzy but so incredibly happy to be back in his arms. He set me down and I started crying despite my intention of showing how mature I had become. Nevio didn't look at all surprised by my reaction and instead assumed the crying support pose of patting my back. It felt so good to be back with my family. The weight I didn't know I was holding onto melted off and I finally felt completely comfortable in my old setting. Nevio stopped me after the five minute mark. He was used to me crying but now it was borderline concerning. "Did something happen?" he asked, concerned. "No, it was amazing!" I said with tears running down my face. We got into the car and Nevio gladly regaled me with all the stupidity they had been getting up to. Massimo somehow manage to drive a new car into the pool, Alessio got two fingers broken in training, Nevio himself stated proudly that he was designing a new race through Death Valley. Even though we talked on the phone there was a different dialog between us when we were together.

"This suggests that they are getting serious about the union with the Outfit." "We didn't think they were that bad off, we underestimated how desperate they are becoming." "Doesn't surprise me from their history of taking the easy way out. Cowards the bunch of them are." "We'll need a plan in place. Use this as leverage..." Dad's and Nino's hushed words slowly slipped off into inaudible whispers from where I sat. I turned my attention towards Nevio's conversation with Massimo. "-No, last time I saw her she said she'd kill me in my sleep. Harpers coming this time." Going back home this time I saw the contrast even more. I was excited to show my family how I had become a worldly self reliant woman with all my new found life experience. But despite my best intentions I was still seen as that twelve year old, shy blundering girl that everyone needed to look out for. I felt lost at the boisterous table that held so many good memories but also the same stories, same events. Nobody had noticed how much I had grown up. I felt insulted that they regarded me the same way when I felt like an entirely different person. "I want to go on a date," I blurted. It came to me in an instant, now that I've tasted freedom I wanted to be respected enough to be able to go out on dates. Yes. "If Nevio gets to go on dates then I want to too." "I'm not going on dates Greta-" "Everybody quite," Dad commanded, taking him out of the conversation he was having with Nino."With whom exactly do you want to go on a date with Greta?" he said it so very calmly that it was chilling how composed his words were. I faltered a second, I didn't plan this through. I knew this was a trick question and anybody I mentioned would have an emergency flight out of here. "I... um, you don't know him. But as I am an evolving woman I need the space and freedom to make my own choices. To...to be self assured of my place in this world." Nevio rolled his eyes at me, knowing my words were shit. "So you come home from New York and now you think you are above the rules of this family? Perhaps we should look at the cause of this desire, remember your time in New York is just a trial. If you're bringing back ideas such as these, I don't see this as being the best of situations for you and your growth. You're not in New York to find yourself, you're there to practice, don't forget the purpose of your trip. Just because you are not with your family does not mean you can abandon yourself and your morals." I looked down, the feelings of confinement closing in. I was sustaining a false ideal in the city, feeding myself lies of what my life could be, playing pretend in a delusional realm and now I was back in the real world and it hurt. It hurt that I felt so brave and adventurous but denied these freedoms at home. I knew my dad, I could argue for hours and he would have an answer for every rebuke. Every turn he would be holding New York over my head, reminding me it was a privilege and not a right I had. I couldn't win. "Forget I mentioned it," I said quietly, going back to eating as the conversation around me slowly picked up. I looked up and Dad was still frowning at me, not touching his food. To what his expression said I did not know.