Chapter Thirty Two: Allie

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Allie,

I don't know how to start, but I do know it's been ninety three days since we last spoke, because I count them like I'm counting down to the moment you come back to me. Ninety three days!!!

I'm not sure how I did five years back when we were so young, because ninety three days felt like a life time. Even though I know you love me and I feel it even from afar, I also knew you weren't you and perhaps this version of you that was so pained and sad, perhaps it did hate me. I can't have you hate me Allie.

When I reached into the mail box and pulled out the envelope, I felt like my heart jumped out of my chest. The mail lady did a double take as I danced on the spot and kissed it's seal. I didn't even know what that damn letter said but I had word, and word was better than silence. I know more than anyone that Alberta Anderson hates silence and now my mail lady shall never look at me the same way again. I have you to thank for that!

Thanks for letting her know that I'm far from normal and completely besotted by you. I'm smitten with just the writing on the page, and the fact you did write it, and to me.

And so from that visual you must know, oh you must know it Allie, I love you! I love you I love you I love you, and what happened...I know it pained us both to lose that first moment in that way. I do not think of it as the first time though, because the first time will be the moment we make love and nothing about that will be fast, clumsy or emotionless. It will be everything and more, and I won't let you go, not ever again, not a day without you.

Make me a pact? that we won't leave it a day, not again, whatever happens... promise me Allie, not one day!

Mary will be thrilled to know Helena thought so much of her letters that she kept them for all of that time. I shouldn't think she would be surprised, because Helena clearly loved her, and held that close all of her life. A cherished time and beloved memory, perhaps she loved her still, in her way. I know it's obvious that Mary does.

I have so much to tell you, but I will save it for the next letter, because I want to send this to you immediately so you are not awaiting my answer a moment longer than you must.

Taking your hand, offered in forgiveness, and accepting it, with love, most probably way too much love...and enthusiasm.

Eternally yours,

Willa xx

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