Her Fight

Chapter Two

I'm not sure how many days had passed but Jim had woken me up so early one morning that the sun still hadn't come up. He wasn't ever nice when it came to how he talked to me so when he told me to put my shoes on that morning, I knew to do it as fast as possible. I was young and didn't know how to tie my shoes yet so I had to ask him for help which seemed to irritate him even more.

I felt like he tied them so tight that my circulation was being cut off. I was too scared to say anything to him so I just went with it. He grabbed my thick puffy jacket and helped me get it on. As we walked out of my grandmas house I could feel the rush of cool air hit my little face.

To my surprise we weren't getting into a car but instead we walked to where we were going. My tiny legs felt like they were going into overdrive trying to keep up with Jim and his long legs. He held onto my hand and power walked over the overpass to the light rail that was near my grandmas house. I was completely out of breath by the time we got to our destination and I was burning up under my puff jacket which now felt like a boa constrictor trying to squeeze my very last breath out.

I tried to take the jacket off but struggled with the zipper. I felt like it was getting tighter and tighter but there was nothing I could do about it. Jim saw me trying to get the zipper down and screamed at me to "LEAVE IT ON" my arms flew to my sides and head shot up with fear in my eyes.

   I hated it. I didn't want to be here with him any longer. I knew life with him was going to be like walking on eggshells at every moment. At least with my mom I could be some sort of a kid. She never had these expectations of me like he did. She never talked down to me like he did.

   When it was time to get on the light rail we both stepped on and Jim made me sit almost hidden. He told me to sit and keep my head and eyes down so that no one would come talk to us.

"We don't have the money for tickets and I don't need anyone questioning us because you're running around like an idiot." he spat at me.

   I sat as still and as quiet as I could. I wanted to cry so badly but I knew it would just make things worse for me. All I could think of was being with my siblings and my sweet mama. I wanted to feel her warm embrace. I wanted to smell the sweet scent of her hair as she wrapped her loving arms around me.  Even on drugs she was my safe haven. She uplifted me. Not a lot of people understand why I put my mother on such a high pedestal when she was on drugs my whole life but I understand why. And that's all that matters.

   It felt like an eternity being on the train since I knew what we were doing was illegal. But hitching a free ride illegally was the least of my problems at the time. So minuscule compared to other things I would soon go through but I didn't know it yet.

   We finally reached the city where we walked block after block until we reached a tall building that felt so 'official'. When we walked in I could feel Jims energy switch.

   His voice got sweet with me and he would have a new tone when he talked towards me. Kind of like a voice you would hear someone use with a sweet baby. Those moments I let myself calm down and play the part of 'oh my dads so nice to me. We're all fine here' but it was a lie I told myself and others so that I wouldn't get into trouble.

   We took the elevator up and as we stepped out I saw my aunt from jacks side and she was with a man in a sharp and clean suit. He talked fast and walked even faster. We follow him to an office room where he had plenty of toys in the corner. Jim and his sister Jess sat at the desk and I just stood there.

   My sweet aunt turned to me and smiled. I hugged her and didn't want to let go. She didn't know what she was doing at the time. I know this now because I have talked to her about it since I became an adult. She didn't know helping him file for full custody was almost signing a death sentence for me. That might sound dramatic to most people but to me it's truth.

   I was told I could play with the toys in the corner so I sat down and tinkered with little things. I felt sick. Even at such a young age I know what this was. But I thought I would never see my mom again. And that terrified me.

   One moment I was tinkering with toys and the next I could hear a voice screaming down the hall and it sounded so familiar. Then it clicked. It was my mama. She came to save me. My heart pumped as hard as it could. My breathing picked up.

   The door slammed open and she came flying into the room.
"You won't take her from me Jim!" She screamed.
Tears rolled  down her face. Her wild curly hair was whipping around as she looked at me in the corner then to jack and the man behind the desk. I could see the desperation in her eyes.

   I couldn't help but to cry so my aunt grabbed me and took me in her arms. She tried to comfort me but I couldn't stop crying.

"Ms.Martinez you have to go. Security is on the way"Said the man in the suit.

   Jim was a coward and stayed quiet.

   Just as the man in the suit said, security came and escorted my mother out of the room and down the hall.  I was in my aunts lap now trying to reel in the tears.

"When we speak to the judge I will be letting him know about that just happened in my office" the man in the suit said. Jim was still silent but nodded.