Her Fight

Chapter Nine

   After moving with my grandma I started to feel some sort of safety. I knew I had food in my stomach and a roof over my head.

   A few days after moving in my grandma had asked for my clothes so she could wash them for me. I handed her what I had which wasn't much and she was visibly upset. Not with me but still not happy. She asked why my clothes were all boy clothes. 

   "you're a little girl not a little boy!" She told me with a scowl.

   I don't think she directly meant it to me but it still made me sad that I was getting the tongue lashing. She took me that day to get some new clothes. I was so excited to finally have cute shirts, pants that fit, skirts, shorts and enough socks that I never had to worry about having a clean pair in between washes. She filled my drawers up.

   I had one of the spare bedrooms all to myself. I loved it. My dad was staying in her garage for the time being. It had a tv as well as a couch that he could crash on.

   During the new school year my dad didn't sign me up for the school down the street from my grandmas which I know pissed her off. It really made no sense as to why he didn't switch my school district. My school was pretty far from my new home. I'll never know why he decided to keep me in that school.

   He would drop me off at school in an ugly yellow truck (he had gotten a different on me at this point) and it backfired all the time. I was so embarrassed to be dropped off and picked up in a truck that scared the other kids when it backfired. Sometimes I would pretend to dig in my book bag when we passed all the other kids that were still getting out. That was until he caught on and screamed at me for being embarrassed of my dad.

   Once, I had gotten out of school early so I sat under a tree for hours until he got to me. He did apologize for being late and told me he didn't realize it was a short day. Even if it wasn't a short day he was still over an hour late for a regular school scheduled day. I had let him know we had gotten out early but that it was ok that he was late. I didn't want to make him feel bad so I told him I took a nice nap under the tree. Really I had just sat there wishing it wasn't so hot out.

   He had eventually gotten me a babysitter. She was my godfathers sister. Her and her kids and husband lived close to the school and she agreed to watch me after school. I was told I was supposed to go to her house after school and that her kids would help walk me there. I waited for them but didn't see them so I waited at the school.

   I didn't know how to get to her house so I didn't want to walk off from the school and get lost. I felt safer just waiting on campus for my dad. I sat for hours by the fence. It had started to get dark out so someone from the office came out and asked if my parents were coming. I said I didn't know. Eyes rimmed with tears.

   I was brought in the office where I sat waiting. The sun had gone down and the front office staff had left for the day/night. I was left with the principal until almost 10pm. She tried calling my dads number and my grandma who was my emergency contact but no one picked up. She kept telling me it was too late and she needed to pick up her son. She told me how late it was and I started to cry.

   She had asked me if I knew where I lived and I told her the general area. I told her if she could get me to Santa Teresa high I could tell her how to get to my house from there.

  I could tell she felt weary about it but like she said she needed to pick up her child as well.

  We got into her van and as we were heading out I heard a car screeching into the parking lot.

"THATS MY DAD!" I yelled in almost excitement.

   I couldn't miss that truck in all it's beat up glory

   I was worried he had ditched me for good so I guess I was kinda excited that he hadn't. Although it would have probably been better if he did. As much anxiety as he gave me, I still loved him.

   We both got out of the car and he SCREAMED at me. Actually screamed in my face so close I felt his breath. The principal had tried to calm him down but he stalked over to her and yelled in her face.

   He told me to get me ass in the car so I ran to the passenger seat. My gosh I was so scared. He was like a wild animal. I tried to explain what happened. That no one was waiting for me after school and I was too scared to leave the school and get lost. I had no clue where the house was. I didn't even know what direction to start walking in. I was so little.

   I think he yelled at me the whole way home. I was hyperventilating from all the crying I was doing. And of course he kept telling me to stop crying or he'd give me a reason to cry.

   The next day at school my teacher had pulled me up to his desk and asked what had happened the night before. All I could say was "oh nothing. I just didn't listen to my dad is all."

  I completely put the blame on myself.

   I now feel like the school failed me. I wish they had called someone about it. I sat there so late. He screamed at my face. I always owed for food. Jim had picked me up early one day and screamed for me on campus. It was embarrassing. There were all these signs of neglect but no one saved me.

   A few weeks after that I was so hungry at school that I decided to try and get food although I knew I had too many I owe yous and it worked. Even the lunch lady was surprised I was able to walk away with food.

   I think someone from the office had started to pay for my lunches. But I can't be too sure.

   It took me a while to tell my grandma that I couldn't get lunch at school for a while and that I thought someone was paying for my lunches. I really thought if it wasn't someone from the office that it could have been her. She said she didn't even know about it. I was always too scared to ask her but now I felt the courage to bring it up. I just thought it would get back to my dad and I wanted to avoid that.

   She had thought I was getting free lunch but Jim never signed me up.

   My grandma had bought me a cute little lunch box that I could use for the rest of the year and made sure I had sandwich stuff as well as snacks and juice. She really tried to take care of me.