My Best Friend

Hurt

Killua takes a shower in the morning before school. Meanwhile, Gon prepares their lunches. As he does so, there's a knock on the front door.

Gon opens it and sees Mrs Jones there. She smiles. "Killua's here, right?" She asks.

"He's in the shower." Gon tells her. "You need him for something?"

"Ah, no... I just wanted to let him know that his social worker found him a new home." Mrs Jones explains. "Let him know we'll be going to meet them this weekend?"

Gon takes a moment to respond, wrapping his head around what she just said. New home? Killua's leaving? Why hasn't he told Gon? "Yeah... uhm, thanks. I'll let him know."

He shuts the door when she leaves, and he stands there. Facing the door, as he tries to think of all the reasons Killua never told him he's leaving. Is he sparing Gon, thinking that there's too much Gon's dealing with? Does he not want Gon to worry? Does he think the information would be burdensome?

Killua overhears Mrs Jones' voice, without hearing what she said. He turns off the shower, drying his hair off with a towel. Opening the mirror doors above the sink to get his eyeliner, Killua notices something else. A pill bottle that wasn't there before Gon returned. Unlike the other bottle that's been there forever, this one doesn't have its label scratched off.

Killua inspects the bottle. It's anxiety medication. Curiosity and fury peaking, Killua takes the other bottle and examines it. He takes a picture of the pills with Google lens, to see what kind of pills they are. Several search results come up. Most of which, are depression medication.

Depression medication. Killua knows this bottle has been in this cabinet for years. Gon's been taking depression medication. For years. Years. And he's never told Killua. He fucking went out of his way to remove the label so Killua wouldn't find out.

"Was that Mrs Jones?" Killua asks, dressed and out of the shower.

Gon leans his forehead on the door. "Yeah..." He takes a deep breath. "Killua, why didn't you tell me you're leaving?"

Killua freezes up. Mrs Jones told him. Killua was trying to wait for the right time- wait for Gon to open up. He's not ready to talk about this yet.

"Not now, Gon." Killua grabs his backpack, and puts his shoes on. "We have school. Come on."

"Killua, why?" Gon asks again, grabbing Killua's wrist. "I-"

Killua yanks his hand away, opening the door. "I said not now."

Killua skips every other stair as he went down to the parking lot. Don't think don't think don't think. He tells himself. He hits solid ground and sighs in relief.

Gon catches up to him as they walk to school. Why do they walk when Gon has a car? Gas prices. And the fresh air is nice if you stay away from city central and downtown.

"Killua, this is serious." Gon put a hand on his shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me?"

This is serious.

Like Killua doesn't know that already?

Does Gon think he's such a child he doesn't understand how serious this is?!

"...You want me to open up to you?" Killua scoffs, shrugging Gon's hand off. "Practice what you preach. How can I trust you when you clearly don't trust me?"

"What are you talking about?" Gon asks, genuinely concerned. "Of course I trust you, Killua. You're my best friend."

"Am I?!" Killua snaps. "Cause it seems everyone knows everything about you but me!"

"What-"

"Just forget it." Killua turns back around, walking to school with haste. He's so not ready for this conversation to happen right now. Gon just got back. Killua thought they'd have a while of normalcy before all the drama. Clearly not.

Gon's not giving up so easily, though. He catches up with Killua and walks by his side, frowning at the sidewalk. Trying to figure out what the hell Killua's talking about.

One, Killua didn't tell him he's leaving.
Two, Killua refuses to talk things out.
Three, Killua thinks Gon doesn't trust him.
Four, Killua doubts their friendship.
Five, Killua feels left in the dark.

They get to school and Killua immediately does everything he can to lose Gon in the crowd. He's successful. But only because Gon realizes the boy may need some space.

Gon keeps going to the staircase, beginning his climb to the fourth floor. He rethinks his decision, one, two, three, four times. Deciding not to go to his first class afterall, Gon doubles back and takes one of the rarely used exits on the first floor.

He slides down the brick wall, leaning his head against it. Taking his new prescription out of his pocket, he also takes out his new lighter. Prescribed marijuana, for stress relief.

"Hope you're not driving back home."

Gon looks up to see Neon joining him outside. She takes a pack of cigarettes from her pocket and sits next to Gon. Putting one in her mouth, she leans over and Gon lights it for her.

"We walk." Gon lets her know.

"Didn't know you took drugs."

"Neither does anyone else."

"Not even Killua?"

"Of course not." Gon scoffs.

"Well, if you told anyone anything I thought it'd be him. Clearly I'm mistaken." Neon hums, taking another drag of her cig.

"What are you talking about?" Gon asks.

"You never tell him anything." Neon says.

"Of course I tell him stuff." Gon scoffs.

"Really? Like what?"

"Not your business, Neon."

"No really, Freecss. Have you ever been the one to vent or let things out to him?" Neon asks again. "Friendship is a two way street."

"I do not need to hear this from you right now." Gon's tone of voice is that of a warning for her to shut up.

"Au contraire. Now is exactly whe-"

"Leave me the fuck alone, Neon."

Taken aback by the danger in Gon's voice, she shuts up. It's that kind of tone that just scares the shit out of you. The kind of tone that usually has violence written all over it.

Gon rarely ever gets like that. Neon understands, though. He's dealing with a lot right now and she's only aggravating him further. She wonders if he knows about Killua's situation yet. If not, Gon's emotional imbalance will only get worse. If he does know, that explains his current temperament.

"Whatever." Neon smothers her cigarette into the ground. "See you around, Gon."

After that, Gon has the alone time he was looking for when he came out here. He leans his head back against the brick wall, closing his eyes. He smokes some more, feeling that high coming on.

"Woah what's up with you?" Bran asks, sitting across from Killua Mr. Lippo's class.

Killua? He feels like bursting into tears right now. This whole morning makes him feel sick to the stomach, guilt swallowing him up for talking to Gon in that way just after he came back from losing Abe. They were supposed to have time. Time to be there for Gon before the focus shifted to Killua's problems yet again.

"Isn't Gon back? Didn't see him dropping you off." Mel comments, joining them with Gen.

"You alright, Killua?" Gen asks.

Killua lifts his head off the desk and smiles, convincingly. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, sure." Bran scoffs sarcastically. "Cause we all lay our heads down and shield our eyes when we're totally not having internal panic or breakdowns."

"Mhm." Killua hums.