My Best Friend

Not a Child

Minutes before the bell rings to dismiss the school day, Killua raises his hand to go to the bathroom. He doesn't care about leaving his stuff in class. He just needs to avoid Gon for the time being.

Not even going to his locker, Killua starts running home as fast as he can. Avoiding confrontation, his favorite hobby. Of course, though, he feels horrible for avoiding Gon like this. Not giving him any explanations. Who knows what Gon could be thinking? Assuming?

Killua thought he knew him well enough to guess what Gon's thinking. Apparently not.

"Killua!!!"

Shit.

There's no way Killua can outrun Gon. So he does something absolutely stupid that gives Gon three simultaneous heart attacks.

He runs right through traffic.

He probably should've guessed Gon would follow him through, though.

They both narrowly avoid getting hit.

Gon's right behind him now. Killua has to think of some excuse- something to say to distract Gon from the topic. Some way to not let the conversation focus on him. Cause there's no avoiding it. No escape.

"Killua!" Gon grabbed him, not letting go. Killua couldn't slip away. "What's going on?!"

Killua panics, not knowing what to tell him. There's no way for Gon to fix the situation. He'll feel powerless, helpless. Killua doesn't want that. This isn't supposed to happen yet.

"Just let go, Gon." Killua pleads. "This isn't something you can fix, so, just let it go."

"What the fuck are you talking about? Did I do something?"

"It's what you're not doing, dumbass!" Killua tried to yank away, but Gon had him in his grip. "Knock it off, let go."

"Clearly something's wrong. And if you won't even talk to me about it, that scares me to death! What is going on?!" Gon pleads.

Killua glares at him. The audacity of this bitch. "Pot calling the kettle black."

"What-"

"You're not okay! You keep saying you are but you're not!" Killua yells at him. "You never open up! You never let me see any part of you that's fucking real! It's all just some façade so that I don't have to worry about you! If I'm your best friend, then why don't you ever rely on me?! It's not a one way street! Of course I didn't tell you I'm leaving! You just lost Abe! I didn't want to dump that on you! I didn't want to worry you or add to all the shit on your plate. A taste of your own medicine!"

Gon stares at him. Unbelieving of what he just said. "I..." Gon looks away, letting Killua go. "Sorry, I... I just... I didn't mean to make you feel like I don't trust you or anything..."

"Look. I get it. I'm a lot younger so you feel like you need to shelter out protect me from certain realities." Killua scoffs, crossing his arms. "Stop it. I don't need you to do that. I can't believe I thought... we were friends."

Maybe that came out a little harsh.

Killua looks up at Gon, seeing him wide eyed. Gon looks like he's seen a ghost. Shit, Killua knew it was bad timing to bring this up. And he just couldn't stop his mouth from running. But Gon just had to press.

"...Sorry." Gon whispered.

That tone of voice feels like it's stabbing Killua right in the heart with guilt. He's never heard Gon sound like that, which only further proves his point. Gon sounds hurt. Killua's never heard him like that.