Blinding Faith

13 Days Until the New Moon

I awoke the next morning determined to put the fears of yesterday behind me. I was sure to pick a matching dress and pinafore with no stains or wrinkles, and braided my hair carefully so that I didn't miss any strands. By the time I came out into the kitchen Mother had already left. Since I was facing another day alone I decided that it would be best to spend the day tending to my garden.

My plants never filled me with the same sense of dread that people did. They are here every day, exactly where I left them. I care for them, and tend on them, and in return they give me beautiful flowers and delicious produce. I could relax amongst my plants. They didn't talk about Lord, or being matched, or becoming High Lady. They didn't expect me to talk about those things. I stood barefoot in the garden feeling the earth between my toes and breathing in the sweet scent of my flowers.

Elsie flopped onto her back at my feet and looked up at me purring. We had, had that cat for many years, and she always accompanied me when I gardened. Everyone thought she was a horrible creature who did nothing but hiss and scratch. I was often asked why I loved her so much. The thing about cats is that you have to earn their love, they don't just give it freely like a dog. Most people can't handle that, they want to be adored without question and without limits. I had earned Elsie's love, and I felt as though that was what made our bond so strong.

Elsie jumped to her feet suddenly, hissed and darted into the flower bushes. Turning around I saw Jeb, standing at our gate. He was a plain looking boy, with his face always freshly shaved and his hair neatly pushed back. He carried himself with such an air of confidence and authority that it was no trouble to picture him as the future High Priest.

"I don't think your cat likes me very much," he commented as he invited himself into the garden.

"Don't take it personal," I replied, "She doesn't like anyone except for me".

"I just came by to wish you a happy belated birthday," he moved so close to me that I felt like I needed to take a step back, "I would have stopped by on your actual birthday but father kept me busy, it's a lot of work training to be the next High Priest". He grinned as he placed his hands on his hips, beaming with pride. He had always been good at sprinkling his future career into conversations.

"I brought you a birthday gift," he reached into his pocket and handed me a small parcel wrapped in brown paper and tied with red yarn. I untied the bow and pulled back the paper to reveal a bag of seeds.

"They're tulip seeds," he informed me, "tulips were my mom's favourite, she always had them in her garden, and I noticed that you didn't have any".

I thanked him awkwardly. It felt strange receiving a gift from someone I only considered an acquaintance, especially a gift that felt so personal.

"So I'm sure you've heard what everyone has been saying," he shifted his weight nervously for a moment, a gesture very out of character for him, but quickly cleared his throat and straightened his back. He continued as confidently as ever, "Now that you are twenty Lord will probably be matching us soon, and then not long after that he will probably say it's time for me to take over from my father".

I smiled politely, not knowing how to respond. Jeb has always taken the gossip and speculation about the two of us as absolute fact. His confidence was overwhelming and I felt my cheeks turn warm as he watched me, waiting for me to say something. When I refused to answer he took it upon himself to continue the conversation.

"I feel like I am ready to be High Priest now," he informed me, 'I am sure I would do just as good a job as my father has done, if not better".

"I'm sure you will be a wonderful High Priest," I said, more out of obligation than genuine feeling. It wasn't that I thought Jeb would be a bad High Priest, I just assumed he would be no different. The High Priest's job is just to spread Lord's teaching, enforce his laws, and run his prayers and rituals. There is not much room for creativity in the role, so whoever holds the title will perform their duties in almost exactly the same way. But Jeb's smile widened at my words, he seemed to take the compliment to heart.