Panther

Chapter Five

What the fuck am I doing?

I ask myself this question for quite literally the hundredth time as I drive down the slightly familiar road that leads me to Ike's territory.

I didn't want a mate.

Rejection is an option.

I was taught it hurts, hurts worse than any pain imaginable.

But if I can rip this band aid off and be done with it, then I can heal faster. And since we can barely even say we know each other, there will be no loose ends to tie up. I can just, disappear, if I needed to.  I can get back to my life, to how things used to be. You know you weren't happy before. Alone. No... maybe not. But I'm certainly not enjoying my existence any more now.

And besides.

I'm doing him a favor.

Why in the fuck would an Alpha want a panther as a mate? I'm damaged goods.

My heart feels like it's going to explode with excitement as I pull into the state park's gravel parking lot. Tiny rocks crunch under my car's tires as I come to a stop, put my car in park, and turn it off. I sit there for a moment though, eyeing the trees in front of me.

 It's cold today, almost freezing temperatures. I can tell this winter is going to be a long one. Frost is already kissing the tree's needled branches, and the sun is barely peeking through puffy clouds.

I sat there for a moment longer before finally climbing out of my car. I lock the doors and check around me. There are no other cars here. Not exactly hiking weather, I guess. I once again tuck my keys under my tire, getting a feeling of Deja vu.

I begin walking towards the tree line, ignoring my racing heart and focusing on the sound of pebbles beneath my sandals.

I keep walking, inhaling deeply. I follow my weak scent from two weeks ago. It's barely there now, the rain and other animals have washed it away. I can only detect it because I'm looking for it.

Within twenty minutes I'm back where I first met Ike. I close my eyes and inhale; I think I catch a smell of pear, although it's so faint I could be imagining it. What now? Asks my panther. I stand there a moment longer, weighing my options.

"We follow what we can." I say simply and begin moving again. I can feel her growing more and more excited. She wants to be let out; I can tell. But I think she thinks asking that of me right now would be pushing her luck. I'm grateful I've been blessed with such a self aware partner.

 I follow what I think is his old scent deeper into the trees. The forest is thickening now, I have to turn sideways at some points to squeeze in between trees and massive, overgrown shrubs. Pinecones and fallen sticks crunch and snap under my feet. I can feet their rough broken bark scraping against my slightly exposed feet. I should've worn different shoes.

It's curious how fast they found me last time. And now, I can't hear a sound. While my senses aren't as good in my human form as they are in panther, I certainly would be able to hear a giant wolf coming my way.

It's because you're in your human form. Often packs only become alarmed when a rogue wolf or another shifter comes onto their territory. Or maybe they're distracted. I can practically feel her shrug with her last statement. While I'm still curious, I push the thought to the back of my mind.

His scent is a bit stronger now, fresher. Like he's been in this area more recently. I stop, looking around. The trees are beginning to thin out again. I'm no longer having to fight so hard to get through them.

If I strain my ears really hard, I can hear voices nearby. I can hear... laughing. Barking.

Wolves.