Am I Worth Your Time?

Part 24

Tobin pov

Tomorrow is the day of my hockey tryout and Im super nervous. I had been sitting on the couch biting my nails and bouncing my leg up and down

"What if it happens again dad?" I asked him finally speaking

He shook his head with a shrug "I know you kid. What happened the first time, you won't let happen again. You're such a strong kid bud and I know you'll overcome all these obstacles." He shrugged "And if you still don't want to play anymore so be it. Im still proud of my kid"

I took a huff a ran my hand through my hair to move it out of my face "I got a question for you" my dad said after a few minutes of silence

I looked at him to continue "I know you're getting older and you get the house to yourself more and you know it's only you a lot more and-"

"Dad get to the point"

"Y-you use protection right? Because Radley was a mista-" "Dad" i said trying to cut him off "And you see what happens when you don't use a condom?" "Dad!" "I don't need a little Tobin runnin-" "DAD! For the love of God! Listen to me!" I shouted as I stood up

He zipped it and looked up at me. I took a breath and slowly sat back down "s-sorry" I stuttered "Dylan and I haven't had sex. I-I 've been too scared to and I keep chickening out" I felt awkward having this conversation with my Dad, but I knew I could trust him and he'd give me a valid answer not some bullshit parent answer

"Why's that?"

"Because dad look at me! I'm a guy stuck in a semi girls body! I like girls and I want to keep my penis but I'm a girl WHO HAS A PENIS! You've met the girlfriends I've had in the past and they all thought I was a guy and I was too scared to tell them! When I did they dumped me. Now I have this amazing girl who loves me for who I am but there's this voice in the back of my head that just keeps telling me I'm not good enough and if I show my vulnerability to her she'll just dump me like the rest of them!" I said getting frustrated at myself. I put my head in my hands and started to bounce my leg again.

He rubbed my back and then my hair to soothe me and to help me calm down "Have you talked to her about how you feel about this?"

"Yeah"

"What she say?"

"She doesn't care and she'll love me anyway and always support me and she'll wait for me to be ready" I mumbled

"Then there's your answer kiddo. I know it's hard and your trust has been broke multiple times, but you can't build it back up if you don't let her help you build it this time. I'm not saying it has to be built all the way back up by today or tomorrow or the next, but starting to rebuild it starts today. It can be a whole year from now, but at least you built it." He said lifting my head up to look at him

"Thanks dad" I said sniffling holding my tears in

"Anytime" he said ruffling my hair "but seriously protection. Buy it. I'm not kidding" he said handing me some money "also" he quickly stood up and then came back moments later placing a unopened box of condoms on the table "I also bought these for you once we moved here so happy...day?"

I snorted softly "Thanks"

After a little bit of watching tv "Do you think Mom would've like Dylan?" I asked, my dad rubbing my back softly

"She would've loved her so much." He kissed my head "Dylan reminds me so much of your mother. She's so bright and caring and always has something to say. She's so well spoken and not afraid to call you out on your BS." He sighed. I knew he was thinking of mom "You got a good one. Hold her close"

"I love her so much" I said softly

All he did was hum and continue to rub my back

I heard the door bell ring which woke me. I hadn't even realized I was dozing off. "I'll get it" my dad said moving from under me

"What's sup dawg"

Ugh Caden.

"If Dylan isn't with you, then get out" I then felt something heavy jump onto me. I looked and saw Caden "Too bad she disappeared" he said

I then looked up more to see a figure hovering over me upside down "Hi baby" the softness of her voice making me melt

"Hi" I said like a starstruck little fangirl

She kissed my lips "Ok break it up this is gross" Caden said flicking my neck

"Ouch!" I whined pushing him off of me and pulling Dylan onto me instead

"double ouch!" He said popping off the ground

"What are you guys doing here?" My dad asked coming back into the living room

"Caden said he was coming over and I came over to make sure my brother didn't terrorize my girlfriend" she said sitting up looking over at the coffee table to see the box.

Caden got to them first "Wow unopened box of condoms don't mind if I do" he said "And money! Is it my birthday?"

"Give me that" my dad said snatching them away from his grip "I'll put these..." he looked at Dylan "...in Radley's room I don't know why he keeps leaving these boxes out" he said with a dry nervous laugh as he busted it up the stairs

She just looked at me and smiled before kissing my cheek

"Can I have the money?" Caden asked holding it up

"No!" I snatched it from him and took out my wallet, but Dylan took it from my fingers with a shy smile

"Thanks baby. I love you" before I could say anything she kissed me to shut me up

"Just because she's letting you fuck doesn't mean she should get favor over me" my eyes went wide when I heard my best friend

"You told him?!" I said in disbelief

"He's my twin, I tell him everything." She said innocently pecking my lips. I don't kiss her back, annoyed that she told the worse possible person

"Kiss me back" she demanded

I shook my head

She took my head in her hands tightly and kissed me hard and when I didn't kiss her back she pushed my head away from her "You'll crumble sooner or later" she said pushing her finger on my forehead

"Never" I whispered and pretended to kiss her again before k swerved her

"Oh so you want to play" she said

I just smiled at her