CHAPTER 51

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=== P A T C H ===

Neither of us moved.

He was just looking at me like he was still checking if I was real or not. Ako ang unang nagbaba ng tingin. I don't know where to look.

Napaangat lang ako ng tingin nang hilahin niya ang pulsuhan ko. He kept on dragging me until he deposited me in his car.

"Kylo-"

"Shut up."  His voice was as cold as ice.

Nang makasakay ito ay pinilit ko itong kausapin pero pinapatahimik lang ako nito. The ride was short kaya nang itinigil nito ang sasakyan sa bahay nito ay lumabas na ako.

"Kylo..."

"You came back."

"Winter asked me to bring him something."

"How long was your mission?"

"Hmmm...about two years. I took a break after our rehab."

"Was it successful?"

Tumango ako. "It was. So...you won the election?"

"Yeah. I'm on my last year."

Silence filled the air again. 

I have to go away from him. Pakiramdam ko, habang mas matagal ko siyang kinakausap, mas gusto ko siyang makasama. That will break my deal with his mother. My presence beside him will endanger him.

"I...need to go now. It was nice seeing you."

"Stay."

Napatigil ako sa paghakbang. There was that familiar pain in my chest. Ito rin ang naramdaman ko nang magpaalam ako sa kanya.

"Stay with me, Chinn."

I can do this huwag lang niya akong lalapitan-

I felt his arms around me. He buried his head on my shoulder. I can feel my shirt getting wet. Kylo is crying on my shoulder and it's one of the most painful things etched in my mind now. I hated myself for doing this to him two years ago and now that I am seeing him again.

"Don't leave me again, Chinn. Stay with me. I'll make you happy. I'll do everything to make you happy."

A tear slid off my cheek. His life is more important than my happiness. 

Hinawakan ko ang kamay nitong nakayakap sa akin. Kinalas ko iyon at humakbang palayo.

"I can't, Kylo. I already left whatever it is that we had years  ago. That's it. Go on with your life and I'll go with mine."

"Putangina naman Chinn! Ganoon ba kahirap na sabihing mahal mo rin ako? I want you to stay with me. Mukha bang tatanungin kita kung hindi ko nararamdaman na mahal mo rin ako? Bakit ba pinapahirapan mo ako? Bakit ba binabaliw mo pa rin ako ng ganito?"

I was busy fighting off my tears. Kylo will always be my kryptonite. I am most vulnerable beside him. 

"I can't go on like this, Chinn. Take another step away from me and that would mean you'll never want to show your face to me again."

Iba pala kapag kay Kylo na galing. With Inocencia, nakakaya ko pa ang sakit. Pero iba pala kapag si Kylo na.

"I want to be happy again. Now, if you choose to walk away, huwag mo ng guluhin ang mundo ko. I don't care if you understand me or not. Putangina pagod na ako. Dalawang taon akong umaasang bumalik ka. Heto ka pero hindi ka pa rin babalik sa akin. Better not get my hopes up. Move on and find someone new. There's no use waiting for someone who doesn't even want me."

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