Contrasting Thoughts

Nightmares

I felt sadness but the tears in my eyes do not fall down my face

I am sad, though

Nightmares form in my head

They form when I lay down to go to sleep

Though I can never really go to sleep

I will dream the same dream

Of the hardships and disasters of the past

Night mares

I dream the same thing 

Over and over

It seems like forever in these dreams

Like a dream that tells me something

I will not go back to the past after these dreams

I really should not

I am not going to think about that though

Through these nightmares I feel all I can do is get endless dbt from a therapist as to why I am the way I am

Why am I like this where I make such careless mistakes

I wish I was better at this

And I am disappointed at the person I am as the outcome of all this 

But I must say

They are nightmares the dreams I have

Night mares 

Nightmares

There is a routine my mind wanders in to pass the night in these worlds trying to figure out the chaos in my head