DEPRAVITY : Embry Call

32

I'm still hanging around Embry's by mid-afternoon. We go for a short hike, and even though I don't love the outdoors, I'm becoming more accustomed to it. It's not raining today. Things are on the brighter side.

Then, we are making lunch. We throw together some soup and sandwiches. It's nothing special, but he puts on music and bops to the beat as he stirs the canned good. I smile, and he turns around and winks at me as if he senses my joy. His happiness is contagious. I let it fill me and warm me, in this cold town.

"If you could live anywhere," I begin, "where would you live?"

He shrugs, "I like La Push. Forks is a close second."

I don't know how he handles the rain. I mean, I was willing to go outside today, but only because the skies are clear. It means a lot to him, and I want to make him happy if possible.

"How?" I ask.

"Family," he explains, "friends. I'm like, all my Mom has left. Jacob would kill me too if I ditched."

His logic is sound. I'm only attached to New York because I grew up there. Maybe I am more transient than most people. I've never been the type to run away from things that bother me. I sneak around, and I mess up good things, but I endure the worst of it all.

"I haven't heard much about your Mom," I begin, not knowing if I'm touching a sore spot.

He shrugs, "things have gotten better since I moved out. She doesn't know about the whole wolf thing. She thought I was sneaking out all the time."

I don't ask about his father. He mentioned not knowing the man, so it seems like a sore subject. For all the faults of my parents, they are good people. My father just wanted what was best for me. I guess he and my mother had different ideas on how to approach life. It is not really my place to judge them, but I can't help but think my father was wrong. What was best for me was not success and money. I need emotional support over financial aid.

Being poor sucks. Being loveless sucks more.

"What are your parents like?" he asks.

I tell him. I explain their business, and how I worked for them, and how I was always pushed to succeed no matter what I did. The support was good, but it indirectly set me up to fail. I don't mention that my father likes Henry more than my mother. I don't discuss the meaning of my names. Instead, I focus on the things that bring my parents' joy, and the things that they did that influenced me. We are all just a product of the environment we are raised in. I believe in biology, but I don't believe in souls.

At least, I didn't believe in that kind of stuff. The whole wolf thing and imprinting and special powers stuff has made me reconsider some of my positions. Who am I to declare how the universe does or doesn't work?

We sit down for lunch after that to eat the food. It's nothing special, but I'm not expecting it to be anything about which I would write home. The moment means more than the food.

"Are you going to go back to Fawn and Jacob's for a few days?" he asks.

I shrug, "I'm not sure yet. Why, do you want me to stay?"

He smirks. His hand reaches across the table to take mine, "I was asking because Fawn wanted to know if she should bring over your stuff."

I am wearing the clothes from yesterday still. It would be nice to change. I am not ready to leave yet, but at the very least I have work tomorrow and I'm going to have to part with him soon. It isn't fair that I cannot spend all my time working through the thoughts and feelings in my mind. I have to make money, and I don't really want to anymore. Being a doctor is great even if the schedule is rough, but I feel like I'm finally escaping the trappings of money. It's the only hold that is still held over me.