The Winebearer [FF] | Mary-Kate Olsen & Ashley Olsen

Chapter 20 - What Makes A Wine Sexy?

What makes a wine sexy? A very curious question for a 'baby somm' or a regular wine enthusiast. When it comes to vocabulary, wine certainly has its language. From wordy and confusing descriptors to remote regional locations to various hard-to-say grape types, it can be very easy to get lost down the rabbit hole. Dorian looks at the wide variety of wine labels inside the winery. Wilhelmina and Magdalene have brought her to the conglomerate in the Wines and Spirits sector.

Her first assignment at the conglomerate is to bring Magdalene Mortimor, the "bad cop" - (as veteran talents inside the conglomerate describe her corporate role) to find her the "sultriest" wine in the main cellar. But what makes a wine even sexy? Dorian Amsel thought: Number One, a wine should be elegant.

An elegant wine is said to have grace and balance. There is a good amount of acidity, texture, and body (which all wine has in varying amounts). It is also very pleasing and enjoyable to whoever is drinking it. Most often this term is used to describe very well-made Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, and even older wine that has aged gracefully. However, it can be used to describe any wine that is elegant to you! There is also typically a softness/smoothness on your palate and a long lingering finish making you smile with every taste.

Dorian puts the piccolo of aged Chardonnay on her cart.

Next! Opulence. According to the dictionary opulent is described as ostentatiously rich and luxurious. Sweet dessert wines such as Icewine and the beloved Italian red wine - Amarone are perfect examples of opulent wines. An opulent wine would have a very deep and prevalent flavour profile.

Dorian puts the 'half' bottle of Amarone in her cart.

Earthy. Earthy wines are wines that have aromas and taste profiles that resemble earthy characteristics. Such items may be rotting leaves, forest floors, or mushrooms. These wines are also lighter to medium-bodied in style.

Dorian puts the piccolo bottle of Pinot Noir in her cart and proceeds to move it to the next shelf.

Complexity. A complex wine consists of many different and connected parts. It is often referred to as a wine that blends different grape varieties to create a final wine that is greater than the sum of its parts. The complex can also refer to wines that have very interesting winemaking techniques to make them stand out from other wines (Organic, biodynamic, wild fermentation, etc). When a wine is complex you must explain why it is complex, referring to each of the grapes in the blend and what they bring to the table to create a more superior wine together, or all the various details about a wine that make it complex or in the winemaking process.

A Cabernet Sauvignon... Dorian stares at its standard-size bottle and then gently stashes it inside her cart.

Then structured. When a wine is structured it is said to be sturdy, have a backbone, and be able to stand up to foods with big flavours.

Usually, a bottle of great structured wine is a red wine that has a strong amount of tannins, oak influence, acidity, and alcohol that all aim to bring harmony. Much like a house must have a strong foundation to withstand weather and time, structured wine will withstand heavier food pairings and/or time in a cellar.