Oceans Apart (Chris Evans Fanfiction)

18. What if?

*** A/N. Hey everyone! From this chapter on, Chris will have more of a voice in the story. I have deliberately made it so that until this part we don't get much of his POV, and I have to admit it's still very difficult for me to write from his perspective. I feel like he doesn't have his own voice and to me, it sounds like he's Anna but with more cursing, haha. But let's see how he evolves.***

CHRIS POV

It was early afternoon when I came back to my room after a workout at the hotel gym. Anna had popped out to do some shopping, apparently hitting a certain bookstore was a must whenever in London. I reluctantly looked at my phone and hoped she'd be back soon. My least favorite thing when I was with her was checking the time. I was painfully aware of how many hours I had left to live out this dream of the two of us. After a quick shower, I settled on the bed and turned on the tv.

"Chris? Are you here?"

"Uhm, yes and no," I answered, rubbing my eyes. Shit, had I fallen asleep? For how long?

Anna's face was glowing when she hopped on the bed excitedly and leaned down to kiss me. Her hair cascaded down next to my face and the scent of her perfume filled the air. After she pulled away, I wasn't sure if I was still asleep. To make sure, I touched her cheek and kissed her again. It didn't help me decide. She was real and at the same time, she wasn't. This was all a fantasy, an alternate universe, where for the next 19 hours anything was possible. After that, she would disappear again, like a vision that was never true to begin with.

Look at her. Look long and hard now that you have the chance, Chris. 'Cause you can't have her. Your life will make sure you can't have her, no matter how badly you want her.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," my vision spoke quietly.

"I'm not. I'm glad you're back. How was it?"

"Amazing. My go-to place never disappoints. You won't believe what I found!"

"You'll have to show me then."

"Oh, I will! First things first, this is for you," she said and reached to grab a book from a bag on the floor.

When she handed it to me, her excitement was palpable. I looked at the cover and smiled. "Selected Poems by Margaret Atwood".

"Her poems are incredible. And, as you can see, it has ours in it," she opened the book and pointed to a page.

"Siren Song. Thank you, Flounder. It's perfect. I feel bad now I didn't get you anything."

"As you should. A private boat tour is so lame compared to an old book."

"I wish I had gotten you something to remember our trip by. A souvenir."

"Aha, you needn't worry. I took care of that myself. I found some good ones but this is the one I'm most excited about. It is the complete opposite of Margaret but an equally amazing find."

She held up a green book that was, by the looks of it, pretty old.

"Keats isn't easy to find in Finland. And this is in mint condition although printed in 1911. I don't usually go for the ones that are this well preserved as I don't like the idea that they've only been sitting on a shelf. I favor the ones that have been read and loved. But, now and then I rescue a lonely, bored book like this and show it a good time. And let me tell you, John won't be lonely with me. We're in love," she sighed and fondled the letters on the cover gently.