The Processing

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Harry POV

It was midday when Louis said he is going to sleep a little bit. It is the day after we were in Hospital. Louis got a phonecall at midnight that his mum was gone now. He cried long and we both didn't sleep much. My mum and Gemma were shopping. So I sat alone in the living room when..

*Incoming Groupvideocall from Niall, Liam and Zayn*

They were chatting about something Zayn had done with his sisters and they didn't realise I was there. Until I said "Hi, lads" in a low and tired voice because of the lack of sleep.
They stopped talking and were a little bit shocked to hear my voice. After a short silence Niall said "Hey mate! How are you doing?" and I wondered about how happy he said that because it was not really a happy time. I was confused but then it hit we totally forgot to tell the lads what had happened. They were all looking at me with expecting faces. "I am not doing really good. It happened something bad but in the hectic I totally forgot to tell you guys." I answered. They looked at me with woried faces and waited for me to explain what had happened. So I started talking again "Yesterday Louis got a call from Mark he said his mum was in hospital because of her leukemia and that she had not much time to live.....*I told them what happened and what Jay said to us in the hospital*....at Midnight lou got the call that she is gone." Nobody said anything. They looked absolutelly shocked and had tears in their eyes, like me. Liam broke the silence by saying how sorry he was and that they will always be there for me and louis. After we ended the phonecall I looked for lou but I couldn't find him in the house and I was so relieved as I found him sitting on the staircase at the frontdoor. "Are you ok boo?" I asked with worry in my voice as I sat down besides him. "I'm fine. I am going to take a shower." he said as he got up as quickly as possible. He didn't look me in the eyes but I could tell from his voice that he was crying.
A few hours later we were all sitting in silence at the table and ate dinner."I am really tired I am going to bed now. You coming with me Haz?" Louis said after we finished eating. "I am not really tired yet. I am going to come later" with that louis gave me a kiss on the cheek and my mum a warm smile and a good night. I looked down at the table feeling really tired but I wanted to talk to my mum. I needed to talk to someone. "You look tired baby. Everything ok?" my mum asked curiously. "I wanted to talk to you about louis." She sat down next to me looking at me and waiting for me to start. I sighed and started talking:"He always acts like he is feeling good. As you probably know he really can't show his feelings in front of other people but what worries me is that he never acted like that in front of me. Sure he never really cried in front of me but he always told me when he was not feeling well and maybe sometimes he told me to leave him alone for some time. But that he said nothing never happened anymore. It was like that at the beginning but I thought we would be over this I am really worried about him." that were the last words I could get out before breaking out into tears . My mum hold me thight and whispered sweet nothings in my ear until I calmed down a bit. "I'm gonna go to bed now too. Love you." I said feeling a litle bit better now. "Sleep well. Love you too baby. And If you ever want to talk again I am always here." my mum said sweetly.
I went upstairs and lay down besides louis. He was already asleep and he looked so peaceful. I wish he would just tell me how he is feeling.
Louis POV
I pretended that I was sleeping when Haz came upstairs because I did not want to talk to him right now. When I was sure he was asleep I opened my eyes to look at him. He looked so peaceful. And I know it hurts him that I don't tell him how I feel. But I can't do it. I really want to but I just can't. Not at the moment. I always had to go through stuff like that alone before I had Harry and I can do it alone now to. I have to because it will hurt Harry more when I will show him how much it is hurting. It is easier like that.I have to be strong for him. I am always the strong one between us. I get out of bed and put some clothes on."I am sorry. I love you." I whisper looking at the sleeping Harry before closing the door behind me.

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