ATONEMENT || 𝟏𝟖+ [hiatus]

𝑣𝑖𝑖. 𝑏𝑜𝑦'𝑠 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡

──・・𖦁・・──

"I'm shocked that you even wanted to come out tonight."

Alexander looks up at Jesse, furrowing his brow. "Why's that?"

"I dunno," he shrugs. "It just feels like we have to do so much work to convince you to go anywhere with us."

"Is that really what you guys think?" Alexander glances at me and I shrug.

"It just seems like you'd rather be at home. Which is understandable, with the wedding and the baby." I say as a waitress approaches the pool table with our drinks.

Alexander frowns. He doesn't say anything as he lines up his shot and strikes the ball with his cue. It knocks the black 8 ball's side gently, but it barely moves to the hole. He curses under his breath then straightens up. "I didn't know you guys felt that way, I'm sorry. So much has been going on lately, I can hardly keep up."

"I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty, man." Jesse claps his hand on Alexander's shoulder. "We just miss you is all, right Tris?"

I nod in agreement. "Who else is going to drink all my beer on a Friday night?"

Jesse raises his hand, but a playful glance from Alexander has him lowering it just as fast. He then turns his eyes toward me. "So...what's up with you and Delilah?"

"I'm not quite sure what you mean by that." I respond, taking a sip of my J&B on the rocks. "Care to elaborate?"

"Well, she sat by youat dinner." He starts.

"It was the only seat left at the table" I rub my cue stick with a small piece of chalk.

"You followed her outside when she left the table."

"I was checking on her" I start lining up my shot, aiming for the purple 12 ball.

"You went to Sam's party with her."

"I was going anyway, she asked me to go with her." I test my aim a few times and take the shot. It rolls into the whole, pushing a yellow ball into another.

"Yeah, but if it were anyone else, you wouldn't have done all of that." Alexander chimes in as I prepare to take another shot.

I shrug. "Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't. It really just depends on the person."

"Mhm...sure" Jesse looks at Alexander then they both turn their gaze to me.

"I'm not picking up what the two of you are laying down."

Alexander smiles and shakes his head, taking a swig of his drink. "All I'm saying is that you two have history."

What?

Oh.

I swallow and turn back to the pool table, taking a sloppy shot that sends balls scattering in every direction. Jesse and Alexander break into laughter, getting a kick out of my reaction to their implications. Alexander's right, we definitely have history. And it's something I've never quite let go of, even though I have no right to hold onto it so tightly. But it's the last time I remember being entirely happy. Then I went and fucked it up, and I'm not sure I'll ever forgive myself for that.