The Sister of Ayanokouji Kiyotaka

Monologue: Ayanokouji Kaede

Most of my life was all white. Everything around me was mainly covered by that color.

The color white has represented the purity and cleanliness of Japanese society, and that to me is curious. It's curious because I consider white as a color that, where I come from, will accompany you in your hard life in the place where I was raised along with other children. If I had to tell that life in one word, that word would be "Suffering". Well, that's what I always heard from the children who accompanied me for a certain part of my childhood.

Honestly, I despised that color for what it meant in my life. For a little girl, seeing how that color that I once considered pure and clean was stained with despair and suffering, led me to detest it, even to fear that simple color in a certain way for a long time.

Normally for the children who lived with me, it was a great relief to see the color black in their last moments. Closing my eyes, and simply seeing an eternal black is the greatest relief for the children who lived with me. Never to see again the color that they considered as a color that meant suffering for them was a relief. At least, it was what those children considered relief in their last moments of life.

Ninety-eight children were the ones who told me they wanted to see that color to find their relief. That place made the mentality of some children be affected to such an extent that they considered that to find eternal relief was to achieve death and to know that the sign to know that they had achieved it was to feel how little by little their life was fading with each passing second, and that the last thing they were going to see was the color black by closing their eyes. At that moment, they smiled for having achieved eternal rest.

White and black were not the only colors that became part of my life. There was also the color red in those memories of the past that I had to carry in my memories, and that in the end, I came to consider normal. It was to consider that life as normal without having the knowledge of when it would end, or become consumed by the desperation to be the best.

Fifteen years is what I managed to live in that place.

Many lost the motivation to continue, and simply accepted the fate of dying at a young age. However, I was fortunate enough to have the motivation to go on living, and that was my brother.

That man who founded the White Room gave me that order to follow my brother and be with him for my entire life to help him.

That order is why I never became consumed with despair. As long as my brother was standing, then I will stand. That is the duty I must follow if I am not to lose my reason for going forward.