Bullet Shaped Heart

008.

                                       -Liliana-

Today we have another bust. I laid in bed starring at the ceiling. The room was cold and I was using the covers as a way to shield myself. I twisted and turned over and over. I didn't know what the plan was for today. Which was strange, normally I plan everything.

Aa an agent, you never know whats next in battle. There are tactics you use that help you determine wether or not you're winning. However, they're not always useful since things can change in a second.

I find comfort in knowing what i'm supposed to do. Thats what a schedule does, it puts you at ease giving you comfort.

I got out of bed and stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was curled from last night and I looked like I was as high as a kite. But I wasn't I was sober.

I was determined to look as good as I did everyday. I sat at my vanity and began getting ready. I took to large pieces of hair from each side and pinned them back using a clip, the rest of my now neatly brushed hair laid beneath.

I went to my closet and picked out an outfit. I wanted to look better than I felt. Even if I felt like shit I wasn't going to look it. I learned how to hide my emotions at a young age. My face goes blank and my emotions become unreadable unless I choose for them to be. I tend to always push people away whenever I'm going through something. I prefer to face everything alone. Its a miracle Marcus and Amelia still didn't get tired of my shit.

As always the knives went into my boots and a gun hostler made its way under my jacket. There was another gun in my shoe.

I went downstairs to my car and drove straight to work, not bothering to eat breakfast. I feel better on an empty stomach. Amelia worried I was showing symptoms of an ED, but I assured her I was fine. Which I was.

I went in and was greeted with Marcus's blue eyes. He stared at me suspiciously for a second," What did you do?"

I hadn't done anything, except switching out the dates on Carson's schedule. He thinks the mission is tomorrow, so he won't join us today.

I was tired of him and his ego. I didn't want to work with him. But I had to.

"Nothing," I shrugged.

"Liliana, What did you do?" I don't know how he figured it out. I hadn't even said anything yet. There was no point in denying it really, I trust Marcus.

"I switched out the dates on the schedule, so they wouldn't join us today, but that's it!"

" Why would you do that? We're supposed to work together for now!" His eyes were looking all over my face for an answer. I wasn't hiding my emotions because there wasn't an emotion to be hidden.

"This is still a race, Marcus. Truce or not, I won't give Carson Kingston the chance of owning both Polaris and Argos." Polaris was my organization. I may not be the first to rule it, but I'm the reason for everything it stands for. I like to say that I built it from the ground up, because I did. Polaris and Argos are tied to the FBI. We work separately, but we're slightly under the FBI's command not mostly.

He scoffed, "You and your trust issues. Carson won't trust us anymore to play fair and square."

"I don't need him to play fair and square. I'll beat him just as easily even if plays dirty." I meant it. I would never bow to a man. Especially Carson Kingston.

"Rules are overrated." He chuckled and walked out.

I went to the training room. I gathered a couple knives and stood by the wall. The doll wasn't enough.