Bullet Shaped Heart

014.

-Carson-

I greeted Joe as I entered the bar. I sat down on the stool and ordered scotch. I needed something strong.

I wasn't going go fucking mope over her. It's not like I feel anything towards her, but she pissed me off.

I'm going to get laid. Which I had planned to do earlier if only certain events involving a blue eyed trained assassin with a drinking problem didn't interfere.

Fuck, those blue eyes.

Joe passed me a glass, but I motioned for him to give me the bottle.

I'm not a teenager, I don't need a glass. I need the whole damn thing.

I needed a clean slate in my head. I needed to stop thinking and have a shit ton of fun.

"You okay there?" Joe spoke in a southern accent nodding towards my shoulder.

He knew better than to ask me anything. He cared how I was. Which is why I was letting his prying slide.

"I'm fine, Joe. Keep the wine coming." He nodded again knowing not to push further.

I checked my surroundings. A redhead was sat to my right occasionally glancing at me.

I grabbed another glass and filled it with wine. I pushed it towards her gently. She smiled as she put her hair behind her ear.

"I'm Lena." I paused for a second. I have no idea what she said. I heard the sound go through my ear, but it never registered in my brain.

I literally don't fucking know what she said.

What the fuck.

Memories of when I met Liliana at a bar flashed through my mind.

'Rayne Alexander' The girl with the catchy name.

I didn't care enough to ask her what her name was again. Her fingers trailed along my bicep. She didn't need to be wooed, She knew what she wanted.

She was the opposite of Liliana. Exactly what I desperately needed.

"Let's go to the back," She whispered into my ear as she kissed my neck.

She locked my hands with hers as we went to one of the rooms.

She laid down on the bed and unbuttoned her blouse.

"Are you not going to help me?" She said trying to sound seductive.

I stared at her. Eyeing her up and down.

She looked decent. Her eyes were dark brown and her body wasn't even bad.

I don't know why I couldn't force myself to be interested.

I looked at her again trying to force myself into it.

Her eyes weren't wild and blue.
Her hair wasn't that weird mix of dark brown colors often appearing black.
Her cheeks didn't have that immediate red effect when I touched her which she desperately tried to hide.
Her fingers on my body didn't make me go wild.
I didn't feel any electricity when she touched me.
I didn't simply go crazy from her stitching my wound.

Not what I wanted.

She wasn't who I wanted. I wanted someone I couldn't want. Someone who wouldn't want me back.

"I changed my mind." I shoved her off me as she tried to kiss me again.

I strolled through the bar looking for the exit. I need to work. Work keeps me focused.