Ask our boy Roy Mustang a question and he'll do his utmost to answer it. With help, of course, from his irreplaceable subordinate Riza Hawkeye.
Hey y'all! Try to keep this at least pg-13.... but other than that go for it! (Also all art is not by me...
Stenographer: I just want to apologize in advance, sir, for this next question.
Roy: How bad could it be?
Stenographer: You really shouldn't say that... Ok so here it is. Do you wear eyeliner because this girl sent me a letter asking about your eyelashes and I got really confused and sent a letter back and she just kept sending me stuff like "drop the mascara brand bae" and I don't even know what that means an-
Roy: Woah woah woah wait what? This is a question? I don't even think I have good eyelashes...
Riza: Hey now
Roy: What do you mean by "hey now"
Riza: Oh no I don't know why someone would ask that but I have heard some report's of a new youtuber that might be the reason for this.
Roy: Are you making a joke Lt? YouTube?
Riza: As far as I understand it, Ling Yao has been making make up and asmr videos.
Roy: How does he find time for that??? And what does that have to do with me?
Stenographer: I'm not sure, but from the letters I received about it, it seems like he mentioned you in one of his videos and it's been causing quite a stir. Apparently he said that you did a smoky eyeshadow look plus "fierce" eyeliner.
Roy: oh (・o・) Can I see that letter? *stenny gives the letter* oh are you referring to yourself as stenny now? Thanks by the way.
Stenographer: nah I'm just using it as an abbreviation.
Roy: Oh no...
Riza: What's wrong?
Roy: So remember that time when I was messing around with my gloves?
Riza: Which time, sir? You do that often.
Roy: Ha. ha. You know what I'm talking about. I was in the bathroom and I heard you talking with someone about your opinions on make up outside. And being the fool that I was, thought it would be funny if I tried to do something as well. So I made a few sparks and lit... Oh gosh it sounds so irresponsible when you say it out loud but it looked good afterwards so I'll tell the rest of the story.
Riza: Ah! I remember this now!! Sir are you sure you want to keep going?
Roy: Yes! I want to answer the question! So I made a small fire in the bathroom with the towels (please don't do this, I'm an alchemist I knew what I was doing)
Riza: ヽ('ー')ﾉ
Roy: Stop making that face please Lt., you're making our stenographer laugh. And anyways, I took the ash and soot that collected after I put it out. Then I rubbed it *snort* on my eyelids like eyeshadow...
Stenographer:
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Roy: Because making Riza laugh is one of the only joys I have left in life. Is that the answer you wanted "stenny"?
Stenographer: uh... I feel bad for asking now
Roy: Whatever, so it looked amazing. Apparently I have quite the hidden talent. That's the only time I actually did make up in public so I don't know what Yao could be talking about. We should find the video. Maybe there's something we're missing.
Riza: Yeah it did look alright.
Stenographer: Oh my word so it was actually a real "smokey" eyeshadow look.
Roy: Yeah!! Hahaha I guess you could say it looked fire 🔥
Riza: I would roll my eyes but that would only fuel the flames.
Stenographer: Not you too Riza... I'll check up on the YouTube account and see if we should be worried about how he knew about that very specific event.
