Help || Hwang Hyunjin

NINE

As I made my way out of my house, excitement filled half of my body. All I could think of was, what the second part of the long-awaited day would be like. 

There was no reason for me to eat so I boarded the bus like the free bird that I had never gotten a chance to be after the commencement of my eating disorder.

Every day, Hyunjin and I would sit on the fifth two-seater of the bus. It had become a tradition.

Naturally, I found it odd when I saw no signs of Hyunjin on the bus.

Sighing, I went and sat where I always did, waiting for Hyunjin to grace me with his presence.

He would come, right? I mean, he had promised to show me his house and it was a Friday, so at least to not miss practising dance in the school's studio, during PE, he would come...

As I was pondering over those few thoughts, the last person I wanted to see, technically became the first person who spoke to me on that day.

"Where's Prince Charming?" he taunted.

I looked at him, bewildered. After accusing me of being a sickening stick, Chanji had never spoken to me. Sure, he did give a stink eye here and there but other than that, he had left me unbothered.

"What did I do?" was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

"Why do you exist?" he spat at me.

Great. He was now literally questioning my existence.

"What... do you mean?" I hesitantly let out, knowing that he would have a lot more to say and indeed, he did.

"Only because of Mr Perfect...", he started when I realized that he was referring to Hyunjin, "I let this go but do you think I won't notice you and your short-ass skirt, you whore."

What the hell?! 

"Sorry, wh-what?" I said though I knew that I had heard every one of his words crystal-clear.

"Even now, bitch. Look at your fucking sticks. You don't even have anything worth exposing," he said pointing at my thighs.

I truly wished to not exist at that time. Everyone on the bus was staring at the girl who had just been accused of being a whore: me.

I could see some of the students were disgusted while the others were shocked to hear what Chanji was saying. Fools...

The fact that he referred to my thighs as sticks, made me want to rip his head off his surprisingly long neck. Yet, like always, some sort of relief stood within me, at hearing someone say that I was skinny...

Coming to me setting my skirt high, that was only because of how loose the skirt was for me now! Even if I wore a belt, it would keep falling, so to avoid any accidents, I preferred setting it high. But compared to so many others, my skirt was nothing. 

I could already see one of the girls in our bus, uncomfortably pulling her skirt down.

Half of the female population in our school, set their skirts either as high as mine or even higher. Undoubtedly, a lot of them, did it just to seek attention, like Chanji said, but a lot of them were also innocent souls like me, who actually had problems with the fitting of the sewed piece of cloth.

"You're trying to get to Hyunjin, aren't you?" he scoffed at which I shot up from my seat with balled fists.

I could see every single girl on the bus, glaring at me now. Every single insecurity that I had grown in the past year, was all being relisted in my mind, without skipping a single one.