; 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 | harry styles one shots.

; unexpected reunion (au), pt. vi

note; TRIGGER WARNING.
this chapter contains the *aftermath* of an attempted non-consensual interaction. there is nothing sexual in this chapter and the only thing that is spoken about in detail is alcohol/drugs used as coercion. please, please, please read this chapter with caution and look after yourself.

i tried my best to handle this with care, and i want to make it clear that nothing in here is intended to speak for all experiences and reactions, nor is it meant to minimize or sensationalize any pain or trauma. thank you

-

"I needed love."

Harry's whispered explanation felt more like a confession. A dirty secret that he'd be scolded for. Louis feels like he's been stabbed. If he looked down at his chest, he'd surely see the rich, red blood, much like the Merlot Harry's tipsy on, dripping from his wounded heart.

If it was up to Louis, Harry would never need to look for love. He wouldn't have to try. It would be given to him. Unreservedly.

Every stranger he'd walk past would smile and wave, wishing him a good day.

Every baby he'd meet would giggle and wrap their chubby hand around Harry's finger like Louis knows he loves.

Every friend he made would listen and care, never letting him even wonder if they were there for him.

Every partner would treat him as if he hung the stars and moon. They would show him off. Every work event, every get-together with old friends, every holiday with their family, Harry would be there. They'd want everyone to see Harry - to know Harry. They'd want everyone to know Harry was theirs and they were Harry's.

They would talk about him until their friend's would roll their eyes and beg to change the subject. Their friends would tease them for never shutting up about their boyfriend, about Harry, but they wouldn't be able to help it.

They would lie in bed at night, visions of the future dancing behind their eyelids. And wake him up in the middle of the night with a phone call to tell him about all of their fantasies about the home they dream to settle down in with him and all the ways they want to propose to him. They'd tell him about the perfect name they thought of for their future son or daughter. They'd tell him how much they love him. They'd wake him up, simply because the love was so strong that they couldn't wait until morning.

Every partner would be lucky to get to love Harry.

Louis should have done all of that. He should've done all of that and more. He knows that now.

"Does Nick love you?" He doesn't want to hear the answer.

"Dunno," Harry admits. "He pretends he does f'r a while, at least." He chuckles dryly. Even in his hazy, deadened state, the insecurity is clear in his voice.

"What did you take, H?"

Harry shakes his head confidently. "Nothin', Lou. I don't- I wouldn't."

Louis reaches for the lamp on Niall's bedside table. With the new light, Louis can see Harry more clearly and for the first time in his life, he wants to look away from him. Niall was right. He looks a mess. The first thing he notices is his cheek. The redness that he had thought was from Harry's hysterics had obvious, noticeable fingerprints. His pupils were huge; only the tiniest ring of emerald circling them. There was a glaze covering the usually bright eyes. They were wide and blown out. Lost.

Harry isn't okay. And it appears that whatever he got from Nick was not love. What he got from Nick was a quick fuck and some kind of high that he's yet to come down from. Not love.