stylist°n.jm

chapter eleven: a different atmosphere

[na jaemin]:
Really?
Are they really...just a friend?

Deiji stares at the confusing text. To say he was interrogating, he wasn't. But to say he was simply asking, he wasn't either. His texts carry a different, ambiguous kind of sentiment.

Like he's trying to assure himself.

[deiji]:
yup
just a friend

[na jaemin]:
Okay :)

"What is that smile? What is the meaning??" Deiji stresses as she burns her gaze through her screen but he's no longer typing- online, but quiet.
"Tell me, man!"

Meanwhile, on the other side of the screen, Jaemin's staring holes through his, waiting for her to say something. He doesn't know for what considering an 'okay' doesn't require a reply but he's still anticipating something.

He slumps when the 'online' status on her name disappears, meaning she was off the app and he sighs.

What does he really want, actually?

"Are you okay, hyung?" Jisung, his roommate, asks and Jaemin stares dispiritedly but nods. "Why do you look so sad?"

Sad? Do I? The older thinks. For it to be that noticeable, how sad is he, really? Why is he sad?

Again, he shakes his head- with a smile this time. "It's nothing. I'm just tired."

That's a line drawn and Jisung chooses not to cross it- leaving instead to give his hyung some space.

Jaemin drops flat on the mattress. The back of his hand rests on his forehead while he stares at the white ceiling- nauseous at the nagging feeling in his stomach and heart.

Deiji said it's 'just a friend' but he needs assurance.

"Assurance...?" Jaemin realizes his own thoughts. "For what? To make sure she's not dating?"

"Yeah, yeah, love you too."

The words Deiji spoke into the phone haunts him and he groans, pressing his head deeper into his pillow.

He tosses and turns, knowing fully well it's his own fault that he's stuck in this spiral of unease and suffocation. He didn't ask Deiji anything. All he's done is assume things but how can he not?

He's never been this scared to do something- to approach someone and ask a single question.

"I can't go on like this."

-

Deiji points at the outfits hung on the rack, telling the details about them and can't help but feel a ticklish feeling running up and down her spine.

She turns around, unexpectedly meeting eyes with Jaemin who's staring at her like a hawk and the intensity of his gaze almost makes her want to look away.

But she doesn't and waves with a smile instead.

Cupid's arrow strikes Jaemin and he stiffly turns away- using his whole body to do so and Deiji furrows at the oddity.

He's been acting strange ever since that text. In his defense, he has always been strange but this time, it's more strange.

She shakes her head, reminding herself that she has work to do and it doesn't take long for her to become immersed in her job.

That is, until someone pokes her arm and she jumps at the abrupt focus disruption.

"Jaemin! What theㅡ What do you need?" Deiji asks, shocked.

He stares at her with eyes rounded and blank, almost appearing like he has not a single thought in his head.

"Jaemin...?"

"Are you dating anyone?" He suddenly, queries and it actually halts the gears in her head.

"Dating?" Deiji echoes, gobsmacked.