surprise

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Damn it.

I've been working on Todoroki's gift on and off this entire week, and it still isn't coming out the way I want it to. The number of times I've scrapped everything and started over makes my brain hurt. And to make matters worse, I'm starting to feel strain in my fingers.

I throw my latest attempt on the floor out in front of me. Sitting at my desk, I run my fingers through my hair in agitation. Why did I have to be a dumbass and tell Todoroki I was going to get him the best birthday gift ever? This piece of crap isn't even worth being called a mediocre gift, let alone the best one ever. If I give this to Todoroki, all it will do is show him how much of a failure I am.

Todoroki's party is tomorrow, which doesn't give me much time to fix it. But I have to find a way. This imposter syndrome I'm dealing with isn't important. All that matters right now is Todoroki. I'm doing this because I care about him, and I can't stop imagining how his face will light up when I give him his gift if I manage to pull it off.

That's all the motivation I need.

Given the time constraint, this is the last time I can start over. Whatever happens with this creation, I'll just have to keep pushing forward. So once more, I gather my needle and yarn and pray for a miracle.

It's already late enough when I start, so it's no surprise I work on Todoroki's gift all throughout the night. As the hours drag on, my body weakens. My hands feel like they're about to fall off. My energy level is at an all time low. My head's on the verge of exploding with all this pressure I'm putting on myself. But every time I consider throwing in the towel and just picking up some thoughtless gift at the store tomorrow, I think of Todoroki's angelic self. Someone as special as him deserves perfection, even if it costs me my sleep.

Maybe it's the exhaustion, but the final product doesn't appear that horrible when I finish. Sure, it's not great, but if I fall asleep now, I can make some minor adjustments before Todoroki's party when I'm well rested.

Convincing myself that it's the best decision isn't hard, probably because of how tired I am. I can't work on this gift any longer even if I want to. The last bit will just have to wait until tomorrow.

Well, technically today. According to my alarm clock, it's already past eight in the morning. I set everything on my desk for now and collapse on my bed so I don't accidentally fall asleep in my chair.

I shut my eyes as I lay my head against my pillow. Todoroki's scent still lingers in my bed sheets, which relieves a majority of the tension in my body.

All my favorite moments that I've shared with him play through my mind as I drift off to sleep. The only thing I'm looking forward to more than wishing him a happy birthday tonight is the sweetest hug I'm guaranteed to get from him when I give him his gift.

*

Well, that was a nice sleep.

To my delight, my dream was about Todoroki. It was just the two of us, hand in hand as we strolled along the beach. A sunset appeared soon after, and we sat together in the sand to watch it. And, because it was a dream, I had no reservations about leaning forward and kissing him the way I've wanted to kiss him for so long.

It was perfect, but it was only a dream. Life's cruel that way sometimes. 

I roll onto my side to check my phone. I hope I didn't sleep too long. I want to ensure I have enough time to work on Todoroki's gift so it's at peak quality.

However, when my eyes adjust to the brightness of my phone, I do a double take as I read what it says on the screen.

9:43 in the evening.

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