To Seek Freedom Or to Seek Home

Chapter 6 - Retaking Trost

I sighed, watching people turn their backs. It was understandable, if I could pull Reiner and Bertholdt away and protect them from the lash back of failing their mission, I genuinely would.

"Anyone wishing to leave, will by my personal order not be charged with treason! Those who have seen a titan first hand will not be expected to revisit such horror again. Whomever this applies to, you may leave with my blessing! Additionally, anyone with family or loved ones they would spare from the same trauma may also leave. The crown will continue to recognize your service! Thank you and good luck!"

Pixis you genuis idiot.

I looked over at Reiner and Bertholdt, and they shared a glance before both looking at me. For a moment we all held the same scowl, but the I let out an amused huff and a playful smirk before looking towards the wall.

"Let's help the suicidal maniac plug that damn wall and retake what those damn titans have stolen from us." I speak loudly, reassuring the cadets and garrison around me.

Those who don't leave, listen to Pixis continue to speak. This man definitely was deserving of his position.

I was put into a group like Annie, but as soon as I saw the red smoke and Armin taking off I sprinted after him. No offense but the boy was a bit inept with combat.

Soon enough I was running beside him.

"You got a plan Arlert?" I spoke suddenly, spooking him a little. He shook his head and we used the odm to get a roof only to see Eren sitting. I scowl and we both jump down to his nape. I hear Armin mumbling about where Eren would be.

"Just hold the other ones off! Just leave Eren to us!" Armin yelled. I listened, my own odm gear latched into Eren.

My eyes were wide as I listened. I remembered something I'd heard Armin and Eren talking about a lot when we were cadets, I'd even chimed in occasionally and it'd made those two happy.

"EREN WAKE UP DON'T YOU WANT TO GO OUTSIDE THE WALLS" I screamed at him, shocking Armin a bit but he immediately took the initiative and began talking about the outside, reminding Eren of why he needed to fight right now.

I punched the air excitedly as Eren seemed to regain consciousness. We both flew at a roof as Eren stood and screamed into the air, both of us grinning at the sight.

"Hey!! Eren!!" Armin shouts happily.

"That look in his titan-y eyes," I chuckle. "He's practically screaming the the world past the walls is his." I smile and ruffle the blonde's hair. Armin smiled wider and nods, glancing at me and then back at Eren.

We watch as he picks up the boulder, and we begin to fly beside Eren as he carries the boulder. Me, Mikasa, and Armin all get put on protecting Eren, only to see three of team mitobe on the ground chasing 3 titans that had no interest.

"Holy shit they really do see Eren like they see us. It's like being offered small plates when you have a fucking feast right in front of you." I choke out. Why did titans not see Reiner and Bertholdt like that? Not that I was arguing, they were safer because of it, but that still made me curious why Eren was so special.

My eyes widen as I watch the garrison soldier I told my previous lives die, and I felt my eyes get glossy.

We noticed a titan in front of us and Rico slashed it's eye. Before Mikasa could shoot off, I did first.

I don't know why, but this world was bringing back emotions I thought I'd blocked away. I wasn't sure how to feel about it, I felt like a flurry of emotions.

Which side in this was truly right? Reiner and Bertholdt were just children doing a mission they had to.

But the people in the wall, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Connie, Sasha, Daz, they all were just trying to survive.
Just trying to be free.

Armin's scream of 'GO' blended with Eren's titan scream as he slammed the boulder into the wall, blocking the hole.

I stared, tears falling down my cheeks as I fell to my knees.

I listen to Rico shoot a yellow smoke flare in the air.

But victory was short-lived as we had to spring back into action to get Eren and the rest of the elite up the wall. There were still dozens of titans, and Eren's titan form was still attracting them like moths to a lamp.

As I shot down to where Armin had fell with Eren after Rico cut the muscle, I looked up and saw the two approaching titans be slashed by someone wearing the survey corps emblem on their cloak.

When he turned around, I hailed a small smile at the face I'd seen during the return groups. Captain Levi stood on the titan corpse in front of us as Armin and I propped up Eren who was regaining consciousness.

"This is the part where you explain to me exactly what it is I'm looking at."

- - -

Afterwards, we were able to get to safety between the Garrison and the Survey Corps. But in the end, 207 were either missing or dead and 197 were injured. Though it brought little peace of mind, I sought out the garrison captain's head (albeit Reiner and Bertholdt insisted on being there to protect me) and closed his eyed before quietly speaking.

"With this, I hope you are reborn in a titan-less world like the one you dreamed of. You died honorably." I mumble before standing.

That night, despite the unadulterated exhaustion that filled every centimeter of my body, I could hardly sleep. And I could tell it was the same for the others. The few that did sleep, were awoken in cold sweats with night terrors.

2 days later, we were sent to cleanup once it was safe. Mask over my face and gloves on my hands, I moved bodies with an empty look in my eyes as I moved body after body.

Grieving shouts were heard as some unsure mia soldiers were confirmed to be dead, it was understandable but painful. And it only got more so as I saw Jean looking at the remains of Marco.

I sighed as Jean began to walk away from the woman, both of them looked empty, hopeless, and grief-stricken.

She spoke about needing to cleanup before an epidemic broke out, a possible second disaster that'd be much harder to fight than titans.

"Squad nineteen captain, Marco Bodt. Part of the 104th cadet corps." I spoke up for Jean, pulling a glove off and placing a bare hand on Jean's back and rubbing circles to comfort him. She walked away after speaking her thanks, and I took my other glove off and pulled Jean into a tight hug.

The rest of the day was nothing short of a sad hell for everyone. Useless apologies were handed to bodies who couldn't take them, and in the end of the day the bodies and some supplies were put in a bonfire and burnt to eradicate any bacteria that could cause later issues.

Even Annie seemed exasperated at it all, and I found myself holding her in a comforting one-sided hug as we stood a bit away from the bonfire. She was dazed, mumbling apologies that weren't aimed at me as she stood in my hug. I couldn't do much but hold her, I was just about as dazed. But I did what I could.

I heard Jean proclaim that he'd join the scouts, and I watched him cry, wanting to comfort him, and Annie, and everyone else here.

I even found myself glancing at Reiner and Bertholdt. Was this the only way?

When..

Since when did I.. care so much?

I though I couldn't care less about others, especially Annie. But I was near tears again as I looked at the fellow soldiers. I hated this. The grief was thick in the air.