Thirty | Legilimency

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eid mubarak loves

c just reminded me to post and say that

she'll be posting too #bsfs


~Harry's POV

Once I'd returned to Hogwarts, I was brought into Dumbledore's office almost immediately. 

See, before the holidays, I'd seen an attack on Mr Weasley and reported it. By doing so, I saved his life, which is why I was invited to theirs after they returned.

Apparently my connection with Voldemort was not only bad on Voldemort's side, but bad on mine too. If he could see valuable things from me, it could ruin everything.

So, the man who could've prevented the things I went through over the break talked to me about Legilimency and Occlumency. 

Being someone who has a lot to hide, I'd already learned the art of closing off your mind and protecting it.

On command, I knew exactly how to do it. I didn't deem it necessary to learn how to do it indefinitely, without prior planning.

It appears I'll be learning now.

"Do you understand?" Dumbledore concludes his explanation.

I was not listening at all. I have no idea what I'm supposed to understand. "Mhm."

"Perfect. And you're okay with him teaching you?"

Him? Who's him?

See, due to my lovely experience with a man who I was supposed to trust, being around men wasn't an easy thing.

Like ignore that I'm gay for a moment.

Every older male I've been around, I'm either distant or it takes time for me to be able to trust them. For example, Sirius and Remus.

It took a while for me to get used to them, but then they became my favourite married godfathers. 

And Hagrid too. It took a while for me to trust him. 

Not as long as the others though. At first, it was either a known abuser or a random stranger with seemingly good intentions; of course I was going to choose the stranger.

Dumbledore, however, I still don't trust. He left me in that household and let Sirius get imprisoned when Veritaserum existed. Magic could've proven his innocence. 

Since he wasn't proved innocent, I was left in a household with a "family" member that didn't want me. He did not try to hide it.

"Yeah, yeah." I say unconvincingly, but Dumbledick doesn't seem to care.

He didn't seem to care when he addressed my letter to the cupboard under the stairs.

Oh my god.

Wait.

He knew. He knew and he never once came to check up on me. If he knew I was living in a literal cupboard, does that mean he knew about everything else?

"Dismissed." the old man smiled.

Without a second thought, no questions asked, I practically ran back to the common room. I have to talk to Hermione about this.


"So you think he knew?" 

I nod.

"But you dismissed the idea earlier?"

"That was until I came to the idea that he doesn't care as long as I'm willing to fight a bald, noseless man. And I succeed." 

Hermione sighed and got comfy at the foot of my bed. I, however, was still pacing.

"And now he wants a Legilimens to teach me to on the rather splendid mind defence that I already know. Meaning my mind is at risk. What if they're stronger and more powerful than me and see something I don't want them to see?"

Hermione sat up. "You're an Occlumens?" I nod. "Already? Who taught you?"

"Me."

"You taught yourself?" She gasped. "I don't think I'm the brightest of our age."

I smile. "You definitely are. My lovely thinking machine," I tap my head, "is a bit damaged. There's no way I'm smarter than you."

She frowns. "I'm never going to get used to your awful humour."

"It's not awful."

She rolls her eyes and lies down again. "So who's teaching you?"

"That's the thing." I sit down next to her. "I don't know."

She turns around to face me, resting her head on my lap. "You don't? Will you be okay around them?"

I love how we can get incredibly close to each other and not make it weird. Normal people would think we're dating. We are not normal.

"A man." I start plaiting her hair. "He's a man. I don't know who."

"You don't trust easily though."

"Exactly. What if he tries to hurt me?" 

She sighs. "If Dumbleprick, no matter how much I hate him, assigned you with a professor here, they must be okay, right? Besides, everyone loves you."

"Because I'm the chosen one?"

"Yes exactly."

"Hey gays, I mean guys." Ron walks into the dorms and sits in his bed, getting comfy. "If you two weren't gay I'd have thought you were into each other."

Hermione scoffs. "Love you Harry, but Golden Boys weren't my straggot type." 

Dramatically, I fall back onto my pillows and sigh. "After everything, how could you say that."

"You're so gay." Ron laughs. 

Mione sits up. "Excuse me, headrest, come back. You're pretty comfy." 

For skin and bones.

"That's rather straight of you." I tease.

"Shut up."

"So, what were you guys talking about." Ron gets comfy in his own bed. "You looked like you were talking about some interesting shit before I came in."

"We were."

"And you left me out." He frowned. "After everything we've been through. Wow."

I roll my eyes. "Look who's being dramatic now."

"Harry's being taught Occlumency by a proper Legilimens in Hogwarts. To guard his mind from Mr Bald." Hermione explains, sitting next to me with her head on my chest now. She was careful, however, making sure to not injure me.

I don't get how I'm comfy.

"Occlumency? Damn Harry." the ginger gasped. "By who?"

"Some random man."

"But you have trust issues, especially around men?" he asked, just as Hermione did earlier. "I don't know why though. Is it your uncle? He seemed rather threatening when we kidnapped you in second year."

Hermione shuffles, unable to look up at me. I understand what she means and I just fiddle with her hair again.

"No, no of course not. He was only like that because you quite literally stole me. I just don't trust easily because of Quirrell. He was a stuttering sweetheart and bam, there's a demon on his scalp." 

Ron makes that, oh yeah makes sense face.

"So, when does it start?"

Oh.

"I have absolutely no idea."

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