We Met In Detention ✓

Forty-Three | Scars

guys im sorry i cant write anything like the last chapter again sorry xo

time to make an emo chapter

lol

~Draco's POV

Everything about yesterday was perfect. Being with Harry was perfect. Kissing him was perfect. Waking up with him in my arms was perfect.

Except one thing.

At a few points, when I touched certain parts of him, he flinched. Like when I held his wrists or touched his back. He probably thought I didn't notice, but I did.

It reminds me of that night, when We Met In Detention, how he flinched when I grabbed his wrists, or went near him, or raised my voice. Obviously, now, I understand the quick movement flinching and fear of someone raising their voice, but the wrists part.

There's a lot he won't tell me, and its understandable, but what if he's gonna hurt himself? 

I need to make sure he's okay, even if he doesn't want me to. His safety is a priority.

He knows that I would tell him anything, and I've proved I would never hurt him. He knows about me being forced to become a Death Eater, and when I'm getting the mark, but all I know is he gets hurt sometimes.

There's so much more to what he's telling me.

I need to check, but what if that ruins us? We just got extremely intimate, so what if this actually fucks us up?

Stop it, Draco. His safety is a priority. You said it yourself.

If it ruins us, it ruins us. If I save him and not us, I'll suck it up. It's a sacrifice I have to make. 

It'll hurt, it'll feel shit, but it's love, no? 

Love is Pain, Love is Sacrifice.

love u mer

His needs come before mine. I'll accept it if this makes us go back to what we used to be: Potter and Malfoy, enemies.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, before casting the spell he taught me to undo a Glamour. 

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

Slowly, I lift his sleeve, the sleeve of my shirt. The shirt I let him wear before he fell asleep. He looked so perfect in it.

I almost choke at what I see. His wrist is covered in red and white lines, some old, some new. The white lines were the deeper ones, I knew that of all people.

Why wouldn't he tell me, or anyone about this? 

the same reason u didnt stupid.

I never noticed. I should've noticed. He denied it back when We Met In Detention, and I believed him. Why did I believe him? I should've persisted. Maybe he would've told me, and I could've helped him stop, the way Pansy stopped me.

I should've known.

He's been through two of the same things I have, and yet I never knew.

I should've noticed.

Why did I never notice? 

quick break guys lets breathe air or flavoured air whatever u want

so how have you been

anyone relating to this shit? 

omg no way me too

love you guys 

kinda

ok back to the book

wait should i keep having mid-story breaks?

ok now back to the book

Gently, I place his wrist in my hand and trace the lines he created. Some were deep, some weren't. Some were recent, some were faded. All of which were done by him, you could tell. And it hurt.

I can't believe I never noticed.

I'm a fucking idiot. I should've noticed.

Wait.

I take his other wrist in my hand and take a deep breath. What if there's more here?

Again, I slowly lift up his sleeve, and this time I do choke. It's worse on here. He's done it more and more and more repeatedly to the point there's barely any of his skin visible. 

Four scars were covered with one deeper cut, one that definitely could've killed him. A few cuts were scratched to the point it couldn't heal. Not for weeks.

Fucking hell.

Tears are quite literally pouring down my face now.

why did you do this to yourself?

What did he do to deserve this?

Nothing.

But what could've possibly made him feel so shit that he thought he should tar his skin in such a horrible way. 

A tear falls onto his arm and he winces, but doesn't wake up. I hurt him.

I move away to the corner of my room, sobbing silently. He didn't deserve this. No one does. No one but me.

Nothing could justify why he did this to himself. Why would he feel like it would help? It wouldn't help. 

Oh my god.

What if he tried to kill himself?

What if this was an attempt?

What if he almost killed himself by accident? Cause he quite literally could've.

What if he's actively suicidal, and has tried before? 

How much have I missed? How much did I not notice? How stupid am I, to not realise something so obvious?

Who knows?

Does Hermione know? Harry and Hermione are so close. She could know, couldn't she?

Or what if no one knows. What if he's been struggling through all of this alone, with no one to talk to?

Did he feel like he had no one to talk to? He could've told me. I swear on my life that I would listen to him whenever he needed to, whether it was four in the morning or the middle of a lesson. 

I would be there.

I am gonna be there.

I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, promise to always be there for Harry James Potter, whether he wants me to or not. I will protect him as much as I can.

Because I love him.

i don't think people understand how much it hurts to know someone you love hurts themselves. don't get me wrong, it's bad for the self harmer, but it's also bad for the people that care.

i've been in both situations, so don't attack me for saying this.