If We Could Go Back (I'd change the world for you)

|Chapter One|

TW: Graphic descriptions of child abuse/neglect. Graphic description of planning and committing suicide. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION

-.-.-

Tommy Innit Craft was born on a Tuesday.

No one could remember the exact time it happened, as right after Tommy was born, Kristen got sick. For the next three years of Tommy's life, Kristen— "Mommy!"—was in and out of the hospital for her illness. There wasn't a single doctor who could tell the Craft family what was wrong with her, and the uncertainty of it all, the stress of the medical bills as well as the drain Tommy's young personality had on everyone made Phil tired all the time.

So whenever Tommy would bounce into his room, his wide, gummy smile lighting up his face as he rambled endlessly about this and that, Phil would just grimace at the toddler and send him off to bother his brothers, giving Phil more time to sleep.

Tommy, who was getting used to being ignored by his father, would just shrug it off and toddle over to wherever Techie or Wilby were, and he'd tell them all the things he wanted to tell Phil.

"And, didja' know that bees eat flowers?" Tommy asked, bouncing on his heels with excitement as he tugged on Wilbur's coat. "Tubs says so!"

In his excitement, Tommy never noticed the way Wilbur's eyes narrowed at the toddler, nor did he notice how Wilbur's hummed response was just a little too sharp to be caring. "Interesting," Wilbur drawled, the ten-year-old drawled, harshly tugging his coat out of Tommy's grip. "I'm sure Techno would just love to hear all about it."

"Weally?!" Tommy asked, his sky-blue eyes lighting up with hope. "O'tay!"

But Techno never even opened the door, as the second he heard Tommy's light pitter-patter footsteps on the hardwood floor, he lunged forward to lock the door and pretended to be asleep.

But Tommy, being only a child, never realized that his family was ignoring him, he simply thought they were too busy, or just a little distracted. It wasn't bad. It didn't hurt.

But then Kristen died and everything changed.

-.-.-

Tommy was three and three quarters when Kristen went to the hospital for the last time.

Tommy didn't understand why his dad and big brothers looked so scared, but Tommy was afraid to ask, as the last time he bothered Wilbur when he looked like this, Wilbur yelled at him and it was really scary.

Tommy paid no mind to the wires and the beeping that surrounded his mom, choosing instead to climb up the bed himself and give her a hug. Tommy loved his mom! Whenever Dad and or his big brothers were too busy to play with him or speak with him, Tommy would just sneak into Mom's room and take a nap with her.

Just as she always did whenever Tommy snuck into her bed, Kristen wrapped her frail arms around Tommy and pulled him tight to her chest, pressing soft and gentle kisses on his forehead.

"It's time for me to go now, baby," she whispered to him.

"Go where?" Tommy asked, blinking as he looked up at her. "I come?"

"No, baby, you can't come with me," Kristen said softly, a single tear sliding down her cheek. "You have to stay with Daddy and your brothers."

"Oh," Tommy said quietly. It wasn't that Tommy didn't love his dad and his big brothers, it's just... they were scary sometimes.

"I love you so much, sunshine," Kristen said, kissing him on the cheek one final time before Techno reached over and lifted Tommy out of her arms. Tommy wanted to whine and curl back up with his mom, but one look at Techno's grim expression made Tommy silent.