Forget about me

Chapter twelve

Alexandra

"Tried to?" Mr. Rux questions, his voice calm but eyes burning. Lowering my gaze all I can do is nod. I don't want them to know. Any of them. Not now, not ever. How weak I was. What a coward. To have let it go that far. To have stayed that long.

"What happened?" Mr. Rux tries again. Trying to calmly probe an answer out of me with kindness. He has an idea of what my relationship with Sebastian was like.

Abusive.

"For the sake of my pack, of this town, I need you to tell me exactly what happened." I hear his heavy steps as he moves around the counter. Shade's there in a second halting Mr. Rux before he reaches me. Shade rivalling Ryders height towers over the pack leader. Mr. Rux stares at me over Shades shoulder. "Alexandra. Please."

My eyes widen at the word. I have never heard him use it and by the surprised intakes of breath by the others in the kitchen I wager they haven't either. At least not often.

I nod.

Reluctantly Shade steps aside. Mr. Rux grabs the bar stool next to mine and leans his forearms on it. He's more on my level now and I appreciate his kindness in not towering over me during this.

"One condition." That makes everyone pause. Mr. Rux nods at me to name it. "They leave." I nod to the guys never taken my eyes off of daddy Rux. "And you don't tell them a single thing of what I tell you. Since you haven't told them what you already know I trust that's a promise you're capable of keeping." My tone's cold, quiet.

"Fuck no." Ryder exclaims looking to his father who sticks his hand out to me in agreement. Ryder releases a frustrated growl raking his fingers through his dark hair. As I shake Mr. Rux's hand sealing the deal Ryder stalks over to us. His face is cold and oh so deadly. My heart flutters in my chest and I'm slightly disturbed by the way my core clenches. I've never been afraid of Ryder but in this moment, I realise why other people are.

"I won't ever forgive you for knowing where she's been for years without telling me. I will always hate you for knowing what that bastard did to her, for knowing who he is right now and not telling me. But you do this, and I swear, I will stop being your son." His voice is low, calm and it makes him that much more frightening. "If you do this, you'll no longer have an heir."

Mr. Rux eyes me as if he's trying to figure out if I'll budge on my condition. Sighing, he turns to his son. "One day you'll realise that all I have done has been out of my love for you." It doesn't melt the ice in Ryder's eyes.

In spite of my anger and shame I give in. Duncan Rux loves his son and I know Ryder loves his father. I dont't want a small thing like this to be what comes between them. I probably should let it considering I don't give a damn about the boys but... I never knew my father. If he loved me half as much as Mr. Rux loves Ryder I would've been one lucky kid. 

"He came home drunk." My voice is barely a whisper but it seems to echo through the house. Every head swivels to me. Their eyes burning into my skin.

"You don't-"

"It's fine. I don't care." The lie falls easily from my tongue. Mr. Rux sees the lie but doesn't make any further comments. Drawing in a shaky breath I lock my eyes on my hands in my lap. My right fingers circle around my left wrist. Twisting and turning. "He was drunk. And angry, which is never a good combo. I don't-" I trail off trying to fight the memories creeping in. "It was the usual. He was pissed about-" I break off again not able to let them know exactly what happened. What happened often.

"It doesn't matter." I go on shaking my head. "He went too far and I defended myself." My eyes scrunch together and my brow furrows. I can smell the alcohol on his breath. Hear his voice in my head. Feel his knuckles against my skin. Feel it break. Hear my pants rip. My breathing turns shallow, panicked.

"Went too far how?" Mr. Rux coaxes gently.

Blinking away tears I try to piece the memories together. "I don't know why it was different this time, maybe... maybe it was because I said no, I told him to stop and he didn't. He was really drunk, I think that's the only reason I managed to knee him in the crotch. That bought me some time to run."

"But you didn't?" Mr. Rux asks.

I shake my head. "I did. But to get to the front door I had to go through the kitchen. Everything was spinning and I-" trailing off I choke out a laugh. "I didn't get very far. He slammed me into a counter. He didn't keep his knives in a drawer. He had them hanging on the wall above the counter. They were there to taunt me. So, he could see if I had the guts to do it. He'd catch me eyeing them. I imagined it so many times. To just grab one and drag it along his throat. Wondering what he'd sound like when he's choking on his own blood."

I drag a shaky hand over my face. "He wrapped a hand around my throat." My own drift from my face to trail over the fading bruises there. Remembering every moment. "I was dying. The knife was right there." I look up at Mr. Rux. "Growing up on the streets of Kings cove taught me a thing or two. Under the ribs and up. That's what I did. You should've seen the look on his face." A pained smile paints my lips. "I was stupid not to pull it out so he'd bleed out." I berate myself under my breath.

"Then you ran." Mr. Rux fills in as I fall quiet. A nod is my only response. He curses under his breath pulling a phone from his pocket. His fingers fly over the screen. "I'll have my guys keep a closer eye on them. The second I hear anything," he flicks his eyes to me, "you'll be the first to know." His fingers pause in the air hovering over the screen as he gazes at me seemingly lost in thought.

I can guess at what he's thinking. "If he's alive, he'll come for me. If he isn't, his father will."

Mr. Rux's eyes glaze over with a distant memory. It feels as if he sees someone else when he looks at me. Blinking rapidly, he shakes his head dispelling the past that crept up on him. "I'll get you a new identity and ticket out of here, any preferences?"

"What? No." Ryder interrupts.

"I speak some French." I murmur shrugging.

Mr. Rux nods and fires away a couple more texts as we both ignore his son. "I have some contacts there. We'll set up a bank account with enough for you to get a new life started. We'll book an appointment at a hair salon before you leave and make you a bit harder to recognise."

"Dad, stop!" Ryder barks. He snatches the phone out of his father's grip and throws it across the room. It shatters against the wall. Mr. Rux simply blinks slowly at his sons outburst. "She's not going anywhere!"

"She has to!" Mr. Rux shouts. I've never seen him loose his cool like this. Ryder's always been the more explosive one while his father is scarily calm. "Are you prepared to risk the lives of everyone in the pack? Of the civilians that will get caught in the crossfire? Only so that you can be with her?" he questions angrily.

Ryder's breathing slows but he doesn't back down. "No, I'm not." Mr. Rux deflates a little. "We'll all get new identities and leave at the end of the week."

"I hear Dijon's nice." Shade comments completely fine with this idea. "Though I'll have to brush up on my French it's a bit rusty." My mouth pops open. Shade's hazel eyes bore into mine. A small smile plays on his lips.

Mr. Rux's angry glare dances over us all before landing on his son. "You'll give up everything you've built here, everything we've worked toward since you were a child, for her?" he watches his son as if he doesn't really know him.

"Where she goes, I go." Ryder states. "I lost her once. I'll never do it again."

"Where she goes, we all go." Shade says as he and Jem steps forward. Hunter remains quiet in the background. He's not ready to drop everything for me but he'll follow his best friends anywhere.

"I believed ten years was enough time for this-" he pauses searching for the word, "infatuation to subside. I see I was wrong." He murmurs. Gaze softening as he sees something on their faces that seem to be enough for him to re-evaluate things. I sit frozen on the bar stool not understanding what's happening right now. "If they come for her, I'll help you as much as I can, son."

"Thank you." Ryder's fists unclench.

"But," Mr. Rux goes on, "the pack might be harder to convince to fight for a girl who, not only hasn't been in town for ten years, but isn't a member." Shade tenses beside me already knowing what's coming. "Easiest way to protect her, to make sure she can't be taken from you, is to make her a wolf."