Alone, all alone

Chapter 4

I stormed out of the hospital into the parking lot, the rain heavenly on my burning skin. I didn't care that I was getting soaked as I headed to my car, allowing the rain to soak through my scrubs, dampen my hair. I slumped into my car seat, driving aimlessly, not sure where I was actually heading. I wasn't going home, I wasn't going anywhere. I couldn't help but cringe as the rain got heavier on the windscreen, the wipers making no difference as the window got more and more blurred. I knew I had to pull over until it passed so without hesitation, I pulled off to the side. I never saw the other car skid across the road. I never heard the tires over the heavy rain on the roof. I only spotted the headlights as they came right at the drivers side window. I barely managed to stay conscious as the car flipped, but then, it all went black.

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I woke again on a gurney. My entire body hurt and I felt a numbness in my right hand and left leg, not knowing if it was from the rain and cold or if I had serious damage. A ringing deafened me in my right ear, the other vibrating around a very muffled voice.

"Ma'am, you were in a car accident but we are taking you to Mercy West and we are going to take good care of you" No, you have to take me to Seattle Grace. Seattle Grace is my home. But of course, they couldn't hear me. Something was definitely wrong. Faces of doctors I had never seen before took over my vision, their voices muffling into one. It went black once again after that.

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It seemed like forever till I woke again. I could feel my left leg now finally, but my right hand was just a blur of tingling. Like pins and needles. Ah, that was another thing. I still couldn't talk. That was when I felt the incubation tube in my mouth. It was large and I could feel it breathing for me, which clearly showed my lungs weren't doing that simple job for me. Great. I slowly tried to pry my eyes open, slamming them back shut when I heard a voice. A voice I had never heard before.

"Ma'am, can you open your eyes for me. You are doing really well" Ma'am? My name is Meredith you idiot. Call me by my name! I opened my eyes slowly, first taking in the ceiling which had dimmed lights hanging from it. Then I moved my eyes to the walls. That was when things lost me. Why am I not at Seattle Grace? Surely they should have transported me. My eyes finally landed on the doctor. His scrubs were a totally different colour to what I was used to and I had never seen his face before in my life. That was when I started to panic.

"Ma'am, I need you to calm down for me. You are in Mercy West hospital. You were in a car accident and have a lot of injuries. It is November 10th 2006, nobody has claimed you yet but we are still looking, you need to try and calm down" Nobody has claimed me? But, where is Cristina? Where is Bailey? Where is Derek? He told me I would never be alone, and, he promised I wouldn't be alone. I could hear the rapid beeping of my machine as I tried my hardest to talk, the doctor going out of my eyesight. No come back, please I am all alone please come back.

"She is going into distress. We are going to have to sedate her again" No! Don't sedate me please! Please I am alone and I have nobody. Please. Then everything faded into a blur, the world going black again.

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Bright lights. Why is the lights so bright this time! Lower the damn lights!

"Her hand twitched? Did you see her hand twitch?" Wait? Was that- George? I tried my hardest to pry my eyes open, sighing internally when the lights were dimmed.

"Meredith? Meredith can you hear me? Wiggle your fingers if you can hear me?" That was Cristina! That was most definitely Cristina. I slowly managed to wiggle my fingers, hearing the tapping on something, probably someone's arm.

"You saw that! She is waking up! Finally she is waking up" Finally? How long have I been out? I managed to get one eye open, the first face I spotted being George's, a huge grin on his face. As I moved my eyes around I saw Cristina, then Richard and then Bailey. I felt my breathing being forced upon me, realising I still had the incubation tube in, but clearly my lungs were fighting it. I saw Richard notice my heart rate change, his hand resting on mine.

"We will remove the tube okay? On three, one, two, three" I felt a burning sensation in the back of my throat as they pulled the tube out, coughing uncontrollably.

"Here, it's okay. Take deep breaths" Derek? Where did he come from? He held a cup to my mouth, the water soothing as it travelled down my throat. I sighed in content, resting my head back more, closing my eyes slightly. The world was finally moving at normal speed again, I felt in sync with the world once more.

"Meredith? Can you try and talk for me?" Bailey asked, my eyes opening slowly again. Can I talk? I couldn't talk last time I tried.

"Try and say my name, really easy okay? Bailey" She mouthed, my head nodding slightly.

"B-Bailey" It was hoarse and dry, but it was there. I smiled slightly to myself, mumbling her name over and over again.

"That is really good Mere, that means the brain surgery was a success" George said with a smile, a frown spreading across my face.

"Surgery?" Richard nodded, slowly taking his hand off mine.

"You had a few surgeries but for the past 3 days you have been here, no more surgeries have been needed" He explained, my head nodding along as he spoke. I looked down and saw my hand in a cast, my eyes wide slightly.

"My hand" I mumbled, trying to close it, the action happening a few seconds later, worrying me.

"You had a lot of nerve damage but with a lot of physiotherapy you will have up to 90% function again"

"I can't operate with 90%" I whispered, tears brimming in my eyes, Bailey shaking her head.

"Yes you can, it will take a while to get back to it but you will be fine! You will be able to operate in no time" I nodded slowly, looking up at Derek who was staring at me. Memories flashed back to that other hospital, to being alone. My body tensed slightly, everyone noticing.

"I'd like to be alone please" I said slowly, Cristina moving closer to me.

"Mere-" I shook my head, looking away from everyone.

"Please" My voice shook, everyone slowly backing out of the room. I looked up, Derek being the last to leave, his eyes begging me to call him back in but I just looked away, staring blankly at the floor.

"They left me alone"

Hey Shayne here! I hope you enjoyed reading😊
This chapter is a flashback from when Meredith woke up and her POV of the situation.
This chapter is honestly depressing for me because if I were to be put on Meredith's position no one would probably find me too😅 but the feeling of Mermer experiencing that is heart wrenching and her last line ALONE ughhh... I was crying while reading this chapter honestly.