Humane

Chapter 14

Why am I not in doubt?

I felt hot-headed, ruthlessly driving my knife into an innocent man twice my age as his wife ripped her curtain out to strangle me. Their screams and cries for help and struggle for life - nothing registered in my mind. I was deaf and blind, yet, at the same time, I was hypersensitive to the world beyond the walls of the house.

Where is the guilt?

I threw the man down and looked back at the lady, hunger burning bright in my eyes, ignoring the impact of the man's crash. I beamed at her. With an unfamiliar rush of superhuman strength, I tore some of the thick cloth she had clutched in her hands and tightly draped her neck with it. The cord was still around my own, though, and she pulled on it during her last breaths in hopes of ending the monster beside herself.

Her resistance was futile. Only she was dying.

Who am I?

I had to do nothing more. I only watched as Marlon's mother passed away due to breathlessness, while his father slowly suffered with high blood loss until he couldn't experience pain anymore. But I bore no weight of it in my heart.

Since I am looking for the consequences of my sins within me, perhaps I am just as I always was - with a quarter of the usual thoughts. Not a bad thing at all.

I wiped my nasty red tinted hands with a handkerchief, disposed of the same nearby, and walked out of the house I had just wrecked. The police could search for me all they liked, collect all the fingerprints and all my items, but they would be out of luck.

I was madly pleased, especially with the screams still fresh in my mind. The memory was so sweet and vivid, drawing my characteristic smile out. It was a wonderful experience, actually. The man yelling at his wife to leave, the lady begging me to spare her husband... It was a beautiful show. Fear was addicting, but the love and sacrifices were even more so. It all made me feel so in control - like a drug that would slowly kill me, but still make every moment worth it. And I, personally, believed in the present moment.

So the future be damned.

I was rather glad I took away the two lives. I got a ticket straight to Hell, and to add on to the luck, it was an inconspicuous crime. Doll couldn't chase Marlon farther than the apartment gates to avoid being suspected, but she was stupid not to have knocked on his door from the very beginning.

Joker's grave voice sounded in my eardrums. "You didn't have to..."

I had almost forgotten about him by then. "Too late, dear friend. I'm, like, already done. Take solace in the fact that I was sympathetic! The entire Lowe family is up there now - and I call it a blessing for both, the parents and the children."

Joker stressfully cleared his throat. He had definitely decided on letting no more time escape - and it went according to how I had envisioned it. "You are no different from the Queen of the Clubs."

"Alright, if you say so. But that aside, how are you any dissimilar to me? After that memory you inflicted upon me through that video, you frame me to be the one at fault?"

"How–"

"If I had any clues on the matter myself, I'd have found my way to your world ages ago. I just know stuff when I need them. You can detest me all you want later. Prepare to fulfill my second wish right now."

He protested no further. "Very well... I'll need you to close your eyes while we teleport. You cannot see my magical form or it'll destroy you completely from within."

"There's nothing left to destroy and you know it..." I mumbled under my breath. That weakness acted as a confirmation to me - I was definitely Ava.

With my eyelids closed, I only saw the silhouette of a raven-haired boy standing in front of a garden, moments away from his demise. He never left my core recollections, or whatever I had left of it anyway.