Embracing love

- 15 -

ZEPHYR  P. O. V.

I know everything is not normal anymore. I didn't hate having conversation or talking, I'm not bothered that I am with someone ,specially living with someone for a while. I'm missing a person. I'm attracted to some persons. Damn I even like being with Esme. And Damn Damn Damn! I'm missing Zeev. What is happening? Though I'm still relieved that I didn't fell in err love with them . But still , this is not my usual, nor my normal. Do I like them now? What the fudge , why did I even think to like the both of them. Both of them. No that's impossible. This is not happening.

"Is there something wrong? Don't you like the food?" That made me snap out of my thoughts.

I look at Esme. It's been a week since I live with him. He even let me use his bedroom and he sleeps in the couch. He always give me space and privacy. That's what I like to him. At first I thought he was a pushover but now I realized that he is really a gentleman. He made me sure that I am comfortable, he didn't become clingy or being a blabbermouth. We talk but he never force me to tell things I didn't want him to know or things I'm still not ready to talk about. Actually he apologize every time he asked me things that I don't want to talk about. Like when he asked about my parents, when he realized that it was a bad spot for me he immediately change the topic. Day by day I'm became used to his presence. I was actually scared about this feelings. I don't even know what to do.

" Hey Zephyr, is everything alright?"

That made me snap out of my thoughts again. Damn that was embarrassing.

"Sorry , just lost in my thoughts. " I laughed embarrassingly.

He give me his small smile again. Though it was small , you can see that it was true.

"Oh you made me worried. I thought something was wrong." He laughed a little.

This guys is making me insane.

I remember what Zeev told me.  About us being mates. Is that true? I haven't really think about it. But now my mind is confused and conflicted.

"Esme, do you believed in mates?" I asked out of the blue.

He was choked with what his eating and looked at me so shocked.

I don't know what I'm doing but maybe I was used to talking to him that made me want to talk to him a little bit of my thoughts.

"So— sorry?" He asked

"Do you believed in mates?" I asked again.

"Do you?" He ask me back

I look at him , I don't know how to answer that.

"Sorry" I say instead

"No I should be the one apologizing , a question shouldn't be answer with another question. Please pardon my rudeness",

I look at his adorableness, He is really weird, a good weird.

I chuckle at him.

" Sometimes you really sound like you're some noble man or some Royal " he look dumbfounded at what I said.

"Do I?" he scratch the back of his head that made me chuckle more.

" Ok stop with the noble man, To answer your question earlier. Then yes I do believe in mates. " He said while sipping his infamous red wine.

actually he look like some kind of vampire with his black suit, dark aura and his red wine.

I look at him and saw his smile,   he's a great man, he's gentle and a man who have good perspective, calm and a big softie. I wouldn't mind having him as a mate.

Wait. The damn I am thinking?! Would I think about that?! Am I gay? Do I like him? What's happening to me?

" Are you alright? Do I said some shocking words? Do I sound ridiculous?" he asks

I snap out of my thoughts again. Its getting often that I lost to my thoughts , there is something wrong with me since I've met them.

" Oh no, no . You said it well. I was just thinking how I would answer you with the same question " I explain

Actually I want to believe it but at the same time don't.

"It's actually bugging me these past days, I wanna care for someone and love their company but I don't want any relationship with anyone. I'm conflicted with these things, I want to be alone yet I keep missing and thinking someone. " I continued.

I look at him to see his reaction. I know I'm not the person who open uo with someone but come on the harder I try to keep my thoughts with me the easier I blurted it out to him.

" It's normal to be conflicted with things, sometimes what our mind say is the opposite to what was said by heart. Sometimes we need to choose who to listen and take a risk with a decision. Sometimes we need to change and sometimes we need to be who we really are. And sometimes the sometimes is what we do most of the time." He say still giving me his smile.

My heart leap for a second.

" We choose our own path, and we make our own fate but sometimes we need help with destiny and faith. What ever you choose is your own decision, and it was you to pay the consequences of it , so listen to what your mind and heart say. Mind is wise and heart is good. They may contradict with each other but you should make decision from the both of them. Nothing will work out without the both of them."  He continue and ruffle my hair.

I didn't notice the tears that is falling in my eyes. I don't know why but when I hear him my mind and heart is at ease.

" I think I like you and that person I've met before, but still I don't think I want to be in any relationship " I confessed.

He look at me with a happy shocked face. I don't know if that's a thing but still.

" I actually like you too "He confessed too and hug me

" But what are we going to do now?" I asked

I still don't like the idea of having someone. This is going to be awkward. I don't want that.

"I'm not forcing you to anything, let's take our own pace and stay what we have now. We don't need to be intimate immediately , let's stay what we are . I'm already happy with this" He told me while patting my hair

I felt so calm and at ease ,But something is missing

I hug him back and mutter an ok.

I guess this is not bad at all. I kinda like this.

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Hey people, how are you all doing? I hope y'all are fine. I just want to say thank you to @angiee2222

baby thank you for your words, they made my day and lift up my mood. I hope you are well . meow💛