Embracing love

- 18 -

Zeev P. O. V.

I stopped working when I heard my phone rang. I picked it up and saw Kipper Quesz calling me.

"What?" I answered.

"Alpha, I heard from my student that you haven't got the pup from him. Why so?" He asked.

Is he talking about my mate?

"You mean the boy who picked up a pup and brought to your class?" I asked

"Yes, he just thanked for paying the vet."

"Is he still there? Do you know where he currently staying right now?" I asked once again.

Its been days that I found out Zephyr is kicked out in his rent room. Since then I haven't seen or heard about him, not even on school.

"Oh,I don't know about his address alpha. I'm sorry. But I'll try asking him and I'll let you know immediately if I found some information about him." He answered.

I hang up and sighed.

Goddess what am I going to do?

How do I make my mate accept me?

How should I approach him?

O don't know anymore.

I sighed once again and stand up, I've head to the bathroom and showered my sorrows.

"Did I do something wrong? Why can't he accept me? Is there anything wrong to me? Or is everything wrong with me?" I asked my self.

My thoughts became messy, it bring me back to the darkness. To my past, to Esme, to the never ending dark. I don't know what to think, I think I'm good but also not. I guess I'm wrong but something is telling me I'm right. Everything don't make sense. I feel heavy like I am breathing but can't breathe. I want to bang my head and get these thoughts out of me yet yet I can't move my fingers. It feels like I'm floating and also suffocating. I, I can't —

"Son? Are you ok? Your taking long in there. Can you talk to mommy?" I heard mom on the other side of the door.

I got out from my thought's with her voice. I grabbed my hair and sighed.

I turned off the shower , wrap my towel around my body and get out of the bathroom.

Maybe I should talk to mom again. Maybe she will listen. Maybe She'll understand me better than myself. Like what she did back then.

"Hey mom" I kissed her cheeks and she passed me a couple of clothes. I accepted it and thanked her before I dress inside the bathroom.

As I got out from the bathroom, I saw mom sitting at the side of my bed and she patted the space beside her , indicating me to sit beside her.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked.

This what I love about mom, she never forces me to talk, not until I got comfortable. She knows how to listen and she try very hard to understand my side. She is strong yet gentle and warm. If I'm wrong she make me realized the mistake I did. But if I'm hurt she is my protector as well. I hope my mate will be like her to our future pups someday. But the only problem is whether my mate is willing to accept me.

"Mom why do you think Zephyr rejected me? I don't know what to do mom. I'm so hurt, confused and scared. The emotions inside me is going crazy , I don't even know what to feel. I'm scared in losing him, what I am going to do?" I said.

My tears is building up inside my eyes, it makes my sight blurry.

"Son, I don't think he rejected you. You said it yourself, what Zephyr said is " I don't wanna be in relationship with anyone" which is including you yes, but maybe he is not ready to be in a relationship with you yet. Maybe he don't want to engage in a relationship yet. Maybe he has other priorities such as school or dreams in life. Maybe he just suffered from a past and was still healing. He didn't said he is rejecting you but he said not yet to have any relationship with anyone." She said while petting my hair.

"Then what should I do now? Should I sit here and wait? But what if I did wait but he wont still be back to me? Or worse still reject me?" I asked again.

She smiled.

"Then don't wait, make him realized that you're worth it. But don't rush for things. Wait for his pace. Don't go ahead nor be last to wait him. Instead follow his pace while being yourself. Don't tell lies to impress, make him see who you are and what you are. That will make him know whether he'll accept you or not. We can't change what he feels or decide. But maybe we could make him see our side before he decide. We have a lots of buts and what if, but don't make those into 'if I just did this what will happen?' and regrets. We don't know what well happen, not everything can be planned. Sometimes you have to let the destiny, fate and life to make it uncomplicated. We can't dictate nor guess for tomorrow. We have to do what we can today for tomorrow with the lesson and memories of the past. What you need is to go with the flow of life. Let him be at his pace son. Let him feel what he feel. Being mate does not give you the permission of his life. You cannot decide for him. What you do as a mate is support and love him. Let him fall for you. Fall in love for who you truly are without rush and dictating. Maybe someday he'll see how lovable you are. And learn to love you as well.  So I suggest, the first thing you do is to smile and let loose. You are too stressed. Ok?" She answered.

And I smiled.

Then maybe she's right, that's it! Everything heavy earlier is gone. I feel good now. I can breath now. I smiled at her and hugged her.

"Thank you mom."

"Always my son, always"

Well indeed, mother is the warmest and a safest place in the world.

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