After Death

Reasons

I think the reason
That I read fan-fiction
Isn't that I'm obsessed
With the band, it's
Simply that I want to
Get away from the life
That I so-called "live"
And hop into someone
Else's, a character who
Has their own problems
That I would much
Rather handle.
I think the reason
That I take pictures
Isn't that I love the
Artistic aspect, it's
Simply that I want to
Capture the little
Beauty that the
World seems to
Actually have
These days,
Considering it's
Usually overshadowed
By death and sadness
And loss of hope.
I think the reason
I stay awake at night
Isn't that I can't get
Off my phone, it's
Simply that I'm not
Prepared for how
Fast time passes,
And even though
I want to grow up,
I never want to
Stop being a kid.
I think the reason
That I write poetry
Isn't that I adore
Words beyond
A person's
Understanding, it's
Simply that words
Written down mean
Different than words
Spoken aloud, more
Sincere, more hushed,
More vulnerable.
I think the reason
That I've fallen in love
Isn't that whoever the
Hell controls the world
Pitied me, it's
Simply that I needed
A spark to light the
Kindle I'd been
Gathering on my
Own in the hopes
That one day, I
Would create a fire
With which to burn
The world.
I think the reason
I love music isn't
That it's wonderful
To hear, it's
Simply that it's nice
To feel unalone
For just once, to
Listen to people
Who don't know you
Exist tell you the words
You wish your family
Would say: "Everything
Is going to be okay."
I think the reason
I choose to hurt
Isn't that I do not
Care enough, it's
Simply that pain
Tends to become a
Source of comfort
After a while, and in
Some weird way, you'd
Rather be sad than be
Happy and free.