After Death

I'm :) So :) Happy :)

Apparently,

Telling a friend how you're doing

And what you're struggling with

Is a shitty thing to do.

Makes you a bad person.

So when I want to hurt myself,

Cut myself,

Overdose,

I have to stay quiet

And keep it in my head.

To keep you happy,

And doing well,

I'll sacrifice myself

To be a "good friend"

And help you get better

While I get worse.

So when I attempt again

And end up back in the hospital

Or, ideally,

Dead,

Don't come running

To my side

Or to my grave

To apologize,

Because I will never

Want to hear it.

But for now,

As my world gets darker,

Don't worry -

For it will appear to you

That

I'm :) So :) Happy