Sunshine Someday // A BTS Soulmate AU [UPDATES SLOW]

Twenty-Four

Zanna's Soulmates look up as she enters the bedroom. They're all in various states of undress, getting ready for the day. They have a production meeting in a few hours, Zanna knows, followed by a choreography rehearsal, but until then, she has her boys to herself.

"Can we talk?" She asks shyly, holding tight to the courage she'd built up over the last few minutes.

"Of course," Yoongi smiles and finishes tugging his shirt on over his head. Taehyung tucks his shirt into his slacks and grabs a belt, while Jeongguk drops onto the bed to pull his socks on.

"What are we talking about?" Taehyung asks casually, trying not to be anxious about her phrasing.

"Um. About breakfast the other day," Zanna says. They all settle into different positions, with Zanna at a desk, Taehyung and Jeongguk on the bed, and Yoongi leaning against the door.

Jeongguk gestures vaguely. "Go for it, baby."

Zanna takes a deep breath. "Firstly, I wanted to apologize for interrupting you, Yoon-ah. I know that getting registered as a Bonded quartet is really important, and I know you want to protect me. You can't imagine how much I appreciate that."

"Thank you, angel, but you don't need to apologize. I understand that the idea of getting registered, much less married, is overwhelming for you. Hell, the idea of marriage is overwhelming for me, too, at least right now."

"More than anything, we want you to be comfortable and happy in this relationship," Jeongguk adds. "We never want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If that means that we don't talk about serious things like registering or engagement or whatever yet, that's definitely fine with all of us."

"Exactly," says Taehyung. "We go at your pace. We've been Bonded for ages, but you're still new to the whole thing. And we know you have a lot of, er... stuff... that you're dealing with from before us. I can't imagine half of what you've been through or how you survived it all, but the most important things to us are that you did survive, that you're here now, and that we're together. The rest will come in its time, as we get to know each other."

Yoongi shifts, looking down at his feet. "I'm sorry I brought up registering so soon, angel. I never meant to make you uncomfortable or anxious."

"You thought you were doing the right thing," Zanna says gently. "It's alright." He smiles at her, and she beams back at him, and there's a moment of comfortable silence, broken only by Taehyung starting to laugh. His Soulmates turn to him, confused.

"Sorry," he chortles. "I just-- that's the most serious, polite conversation I've had in a loooong time!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Can I tell you about my Soulmate, Zanna?" Seokjin sits across from her and pulls his blue-light glasses from his face. She looks up from her--still mostly full--plate in surprise and gladly sets down her chopsticks as he places the frames on the table.

"Of course, oppa, but you don't have to," she says shyly.

"I want to," he assures her. She nods and rests her elbow on the table, then leans her cheek against her hand.

"I'm listening."

"She was my age," Seokjin begins and stops. Something in his expression shifts and he looks suddenly sadder than she's ever seen him before. He swallows, blinks hard. Swallows again.

Zanna can't help herself. She reaches out and covers his hands with her free one. "It's okay if you can't talk about her, oppa."

"I can, it's just... been a while since I have. I'm okay." He takes a shaky breath and starts again. "She was my age. Her name was Tohru. We Bonded only a few days after we met-- it was kind of an accident, like you and Tae. She was a trainee from Japan; she'd been working so hard for almost four years... We were watching a session and giving pointers, and I decided to join the trainees, mostly for fun. My big shoulders got in Tohru's line of sight and she stumbled right into me."

Seokjin pauses to gather himself. "We were practically inseparable after that. She stopped training a few months later so she could travel on tour with us-- that's part of why we carry extra staff clothes, like what you used that first weekend."

"I wondered about that," Zanna says. "It happened so smoothly, I assumed your manager had made calls ahead after I thought about it."

Seokjin chuckles. "Nope, we've just done that before. You're not the first stray we've picked up on tour, and you probably won't be the last... though you're almost certainly the last Soulmate we'll pick up."

Zanna resists the urge to ask about Namjoon's Soulmate-- she had been the one to request that Soulmates not be discussed without the permission of everyone involved. Even though the members all knew who she was now, and even though she was Bonded with all three of her Soulmates, Namjoon hadn't offered up the information. Zanna wasn't about to pry; she knew how personal one's Soulname could be.

"So, Tohru and I were inseparable," Seokjin continues. "We did everything together, though she was often posing as a camera person or props manager. Even when I did V-Live, she would be behind the camera, eating with me, silently laughing at my jokes... And then, one day, she was gone."

Zanna blinked. "Wait, what?"

"She vanished. I woke up one morning to an empty room. All trace of her was gone; her clothes, our pictures together, everything. I couldn't feel her through the Bond, either, but her name was still its beautiful, sunflower yellow on my arm. I panicked, of course. We all did. We looked everywhere, but she was just... gone." As he speaks, Seokjin slowly undoes the black wrap on his wrist. "Almost a month later, I found a picture of us under the bed. I think she dropped it on her way out. A few days after that, I felt--" He stops abruptly as his wrap falls away. His Soulname is a harsh pink scar, and below it is a small, detailed black-ink tattoo of Seokjin kissing a girl on the cheek.

"You felt her die," Zanna whispers. Seokjin nods.

"I did."

"Did you ever find out what happened?"

"No. There was a long, painful investigation, but after they found her body and the cause of death, the police decided that looking further into her disappearance wasn't necessary."

"What?! Why?!"

"There just wasn't enough evidence. She'd left me on her own, and it looked like she'd moved into an apartment on the other side of Seoul by herself as well. Like she'd been prepared to leave. And it looked like she had fallen down the stairs of the building and hit her head. That's how they found her."

"How did you survive it?" Zanna's voice is barely audible, her eyes downcast.

"I almost didn't," Seokjin admits. "I wouldn't have, if not for Namjoon. And the rest of my members, of course, but Joon and I got really close after that."

Zanna takes a breath and brushes her wet cheeks dry. "I'm so sorry, oppa. That must have been... I lost my first love when I was younger and of course, we weren't Soulmates, but I barely survived it either. I can't imagine what it must have been to lose your Soulmate."

With her nod of permission, Seokjin takes Zanna's hands in his. "Thank you for sharing that, Zanna-yah. And thank you for letting me tell you about Tohru. It's... been a long time since I've said her name."

There was a brief minute of silence. Finally, Seokjin cleared his throat, squeezed Zanna's hands, and stood.

"I need a cup of tea. Shall I make one for you as well?"

Zanna nods, and Seokjin vanishes into the kitchen. Once she's sure he's gone, she wipes her cheeks again and takes a deep breath.

"Suzanna," she whispers, her voice barely louder than a breath. It catches in her throat, but she says it again. "Suzanna." Thank you, Jin, she thinks, unable to get the words out aloud. I never knew I needed to say her name.