The Fickle Winds of Autumn

4. The 13th Harmony

The sharp air of the courtyard was crisp and uncluttered in contrast to the candle-smoke and incense of the interior. Kira pulled her cloak a little tighter around her shoulders as the freshness tickled at her nostrils. Already, the subtle cadences of Autumn had begun to steal the ripe warmth of Summer.

She blinked out into the pale dimness before the dawn, across the convent grounds, shielded from the secular world by the high outer-walls. Even though the long journey was beginning before the purple of the morning had started to break, her innocent eyes were already unable to fully comprehend the vibrant colours and shapes before her: the buff and greys of the stone were like nothing she had ever experienced inside the sombre candle-light of the buildings, or the worn illustrated manuscripts on its shelves. The yellow lichens which clung tightly to the heavy doorway were composed of a palate of colours and textures she had no words for. The vivid unspoilt glare of the velvet morning reflecting up from the courtyard dirt dazzled her unaccustomed senses.

And then the rushing emptiness of the space stretching away before her; far bigger than the broad nave of the chapel; broader even than ten naves.

And where, across this open expanse of courtyard, were the walls that would keep her in place and let her know where to walk? The stones she could run her fingers along for comfort and direction? Where was the ceiling that would stop her from floating off, up into the sky? Or to prevent the vastness of the sky from crushing down on top of her?

Yes, the sky.

She hardly dare look up, for she knew that the Great Surrounder's most majestic gift to them all - the vast brightness that illuminated the world of men - was now bearing directly down on her, its most humble servant.

And yet there it was; up above her and all around; the very thing she had been taught and read about in the dusty texts of the dull convent classes.

So much weightless emptiness and space; and yet it wasn't even empty; for splashed across it, in delicate rhythms of lace and light, were the tiny white sparkling points of the curious stars, as they peered down at the unfolding events below, intent on examining her worthiness and the contents of her soul.

Her chest tightened as she struggled to draw down a breath; a heavy underwater oppression overwhelmed her; a suffocating sense of anxiety and panic.

Perhaps she should turn around and go back inside? Perhaps she was not deserving enough to experience such wonders?

But this was her chance; the opportunity she had long dreamed of; she would finally get out and see the world beyond the convent and its walls. She could not afford to waste such an opening; she must hold on and realise that lifetime of yearning.

She scrunched her toes down into the soles of her boots, determined to anchor herself in place while the panic eased.

"Courage!" she murmured to herself.

She steadied her breath as her tense stomach composed itself.

The hectoring voice of Sister Amelia Constance brought her focus back to the courtyard.

She hurried over to join the other twelve girls, who were huddled in a group with Sisters Enid and Maud, alongside two large, enclosed carriages. The pulling-horses snorted plumes of breath into the dawn chill; keen to get warm and moving, as their harnesses clinked and jingled in anticipation.

Kira felt the undisguised looks of disdain as she approached: although it was nothing she wasn't used to: and even the overbearing presence of Sister Amelia did not prevent the other girls from grumbling as she tried to smuggle herself in at the back of the group, and hide behind the tallness of Hettie.