The Fickle Winds of Autumn

40. A Queen Confesses

Kira strained her eyes out to the dim shadows around the corner at the exit of the cave; the stout bars held her in place, but the buffeting blasts of air teased her with their noisy freedom.

"Yes, I hear them too," Harath blinked in at her, "the spirit-souls of Winter will arrive soon and settle on our mountain - it is an auspicious time for a new queen, and the Observance..."

"Do you have to keep mentioning that?" said Kira.

"Yes, sorry... I had always thought it would be a great honour to be the flesh of Graath... but now that I have spoken with you - now that we have talked so much - I see that you have a life of your own, a destiny, a future - something you must feel is more important than Graath and the aerie... Perhaps they all did... but how was I to know? None have ever broken the Gift before, none have awakened and spoken - you are the first, your soul carries a great strength."

"But tomorrow evening I'll be eaten, so what use will my spirit or soul be to me then? Or my friends?"

She nodded back towards the two lumpy outlines lying in the dark hush of the cell, their slow steady breathing counted out a soothing lullaby; Aldwyn occasionally snorted and snored, but he did not move.

"Yes, I shall miss you after the Observance; I feel you are a friend - you certainly seem to appreciate me more than the other Akkipter; I have never experienced this feeling - being a queen can become lonely at times - I have never really had a friend before."

Kira's mind swirled with agitated fragments - it had never occurred to her that a queen could ever be unhappy or lonely.

True, the rest of her subjects did intend to eat her flesh, but that wasn't really Harath's fault.

How had she managed all this time without even one friend to talk to?

What would her own miserable life have been without Amber?

"You've never had a friend?"

Harath looked down and scratched her claws on the cave floor.

"No, not really - at first they were all so frightened of me that they acted out of deference - they were courteous but never friendly, they never respected me, just my role as Queen. I did my duty proudly, but as I grew older, I saw their attitude change; lately some have sniggered at me when they thought I could not hear them, and when they realised that I was too weak to punish them, they became outwardly rude - especially when they were in groups together... well, you saw this some days ago, it is no use pretending, when Fyrttu, the captain of the aerie's guardians, knocked me over."

"But why did they start acting like this to you? You seem a very nice queen."

"It's because of my wings," Harath lamented.

"Your wings?" said Kira. "I don't understand."

"When I was younger, my wings enjoyed the careless favours of the Winds - I was swift and daring, the mountain draughts were my playground - not even the fleet-footed mountain hare could escape the deadly embrace of my talons. But gradually, I felt my wings were not as subtle as they once were, they did not caress the currents, Skirnam no longer favoured me with grace and speed."

Harath extended her long wings and gazed intently at them.

Kira had never expected them to be so large - much longer and broader than Harath's own height - a huge span which nearly touched the rough sides of the cave.

"But not long ago, one of my landings was difficult and clumsy, not smooth and effortless as a queen's should be, yes? News of this spread quickly through the aerie, and all now watch me, waiting to see if I can still fly or if I fail and humiliate myself, so that recently I have become too afraid even to try, and I have not left the nest for many days."