Lost in July

IX

Collin
~
After we finish our dinner, well- I finished my dinner, Margo didn't really eat anything. She was reading the whole time.

Anyway, we are walking to the courtyard now, hoping to get some fresh air before they lock the doors for the night.

I don't know how we ended up spending the whole day together. I'm not even the slightest bit tired of her. Usually people irritate me very quickly. Not her, though.

"This book is incredible. I need you to take it away from me. My eyes hurt." She holds her book out to me, waiting patiently for me to take it.

I laugh but grab the book, tucking it under my shoulder with mine.

We get to the courtyard and I pull open the door, Margo walking out first and thanking me with a shy smile.

We step out and the cool air wraps around us, the sun almost completely gone from the sky.

Margo walks to the very edge of the courtyard, pulling the hood of her hoodie onto her head and laying down on the grass.

She looks up, her eyes finding mine as I stare down at her. "Comfy?" I ask.

She closes her eyes, sighing. "Mhmm."

I follow her lead, laying down beside her and staring up at the sky as the darkness slowly devours the pastel colors of the sunset.

"When's your birthday, Collin?" Margo turns her head to face me. I like the way my name sounds coming from her lips.

I look at her too, our eyes meeting.

"June 29th, why?" A small smile makes its way onto her face and her head turns back to the sky.

She shrugs, shaking her head. "No reason."

"When's yours?"

"November 18th," her smile is gone now, her lips in a straight line and her voice quiet. She must not like her birthday too much.

I'd like to know why she felt it was important to know my birthday, but I don't bother asking again. I learned pretty quickly that if Margo wants someone to know something, she'll tell them. She's not one to tiptoe around things and her honesty is actually refreshing.

"You wanna know something?" I say after a few minutes of silence.

Margo doesn't move. Her eyes are closed now but I know she's awake because her breathing is irregular. "Sure," she mumbles.

"Eating dinner with you, or other people here, is the only time I eat dinner with actual people, having an actual conversation." I sound much more sad than I intended, but I don't really care.

Margo turns her head again, those sad hazel eyes looking at me with wonder. "Really? Ever?"

I shake my head. "For holidays and stuff we'll pretend to have family dinners but it always feels fake. Like we're playing pretend."

"I get that. I have my sister so we just talk to one another while our parents ignore us on their phones the whole time," Margo looks at me expectantly. "do you have any siblings?"

"No. Just me," I reply. I've always wanted a sibling. Someone that has the same experiences as you but lived through them differently. Someone that was born into your life, your own built in friend. I guess that's only for some.