Even If It Hurts (Completed)

Chapter 38

"Babe, are you alright?"

I was dragged out of my thoughts when I felt Bryon's hand on top of mine. We're already in the restaurant he reserved, and I wasn't aware of the whole time we travelled our way from the clinic to here. I admit wala ako sa sarili ko kanina pa.

"Babe..." I uttered as I looked into his eyes.

"You're spacing out, Iya. Are you okay?"

I sighed the simplest way possible, and I forced a smile on my face. "I am okay. Sorry, babe."

"Is it because of him?" he asked seriously.

Kahit na hindi siya magbanggit ng pangalan, alam ko kung sino iyong tinutukoy niya.

Nagpakawala ako ng isang malalim na buntong hininga. "Sorry, Bry. Hindi ko lang inasahang makikita ko siya kanina."

Inasahan ko na noon pa na magku-krus talaga ang mga landas namin dahil sobrang maliit lang itong syudad na kinaroroonan namin, but I didn't expect it was this soon. Hindi ko pa rin nagawang ihanda ang sarili ko kahit pa una ko ng nakita ang kapatid niya.

"Are you still affected?" I heard pain from Bry's words that's why I felt guilty. I am not doing anything wrong in our relationship, but I can't help to feel bad.

Gayunpaman, tumango pa rin ako bilang tugon. There's no point of denying it. At ayokong magsinungaling kay Bryon. He has always been honest with me at gusto kong gawin din iyon sa kanya. Ayokong may kasamang kasinungalingan ang relasyon namin. He's very important to be lied to. Hindi niya deserve iyon.

"Ngayon na lang ulit kami nagkaharap simula no'ng umalis ako."

Bry nodded like he understood everything that I say. Uminom siya sa wine glass niya at matamang nakatingin lamang sa pinggan niya.

"Are you mad, babe?" tanong ko. I wanted to know what he was thinking. Binabagabag ako ng kung anong nararamdaman at iniisip niya ngayon.

He sighed a deep breath before he looked up at me. "I am not mad, Iya... but honestly, I am worried."

"Bakit naman?"

Umiling siya at nag-iwas muli ng tingin. I held his hand and urged him to answer me.

"Why, babe? What makes you worried?"

Bumuntong hininga siya ulit. "I just feel like... you're not totally mine," pag-amin niya and it hurts me seeing the pain in his eyes.

"Bry..."

"I know you have a past with him, Iya. Damn! He's your fucking ex-husband and he's Mikael's father," he said, his voice dripped with so much frustration.

"Bry, listen to me." Hinuli ko ang titig niya. "Like what you said, he is already my past. Nakaraan na siya, babe. At iyong nakaraan na 'yon ay hindi na maibabalik pa because you are now my present. And we are together now because we are trying to work things out for the future. Yes, he's my son's father, but that's just it, babe. Iyon na lang ang tanging nag-uugnay sa amin."

I gave Bry a reassuring smile. Nasasaktan talaga akong nakikita siyang nasasaktan ng ganito. At kung kinakailangang i-assure ko siya sa araw-araw ay gagawin ko because that's what he deserves.

"I love you. I am just afraid I might lose you," he said, but relief already washed over him.

"You're not going to lose me because I love you. Ikaw na ang mahal ko, Bry."

Nagawa naming tapusin ng maayos at masaya ang date naming dalawa. I was thankful Bry understood everything although sinabi niyang hindi niya maipapangakong hindi siya magseselos kung sakaling makita niyang umaaligid sa akin si Kael.