Left behind (a gilmore girls fanfiction)

Chapter 3

SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER: Hope by Freakkill

"C-H-I-L-T-O-N!" I scream while pointing to the crown on top of my stunt groups hands hoping I don't fall. Cheerleading is fun to me many people think it's just a sport popular people play but it's not true. Well cheerleading is fun when you are cheering for the right team. 

After saying a few more chants we do the basket toss to go down. No, it's time to take a break and get some water. To the people who don't think cheerleading is a sport are just fucking dumb. Like can you do tumbling and then go flying around on the air and hoping to get caught. All the other sports are the same, throwing a ball or kicking a ball. The only sport I do other than cheerleading is kicking people in the balls. 

"WOOHOOO" I hear some people yell and scream. I turn to see Caleb with a grin on his face and the point chart had changed. We are two points ahead right now with five minutes left. 

Now, it's time to cheer again and we have to start dancing. I get into my normal position and start to do the dance. Why is the dance so sexy if parents are watching? And how do they not get murdered after the game? 

After about two minutes or so we start to do the whole chanting thing again. Don't get me wrong I love cheer but the only reason I started in middle school was because I needed a sport and my friends were doing it. 

I often wonder if the only reason I do things is because people expect me to. People expected me to be a cheerleader. People expected me to date Caleb. People expected me to be friends with the popular people. Maybe that's just the growing up with the 1%, the trust fund kids. However, my mother didn't turn into a people pleaser. Putting on the mask that I'm perfect because I'm expected to be perfect. 

Getting lost in my thoughts I don't realize the game is over until I hear Caleb walking up to me with a grin on his face. We won and I smile quickly creating the illusion pushing those thoughts into a little bottle away from the surface. Even if the feeling are to big for the bottle I'll make it fit like those ships in the bottles. 

"Hey babe, you did great today!" I say with a big fake smile. 

"Thanks, I saw you cheering for me." He says with a wink and I laugh. Not because I was embarrassed because I never cheered for him, I never really had maybe when people thought we would be a good couple. There not wrong but also not right. We get along and look good together but we don't understand each other. We never even talked about it so, I guess I can't say we don't but we have been together since freshman year. 

Maybe I should break up with him. Everyone will be disappointed but I think I need this. I need this so I can do something on my own. I don't need people to tell me what to do. All this thinking and complaining about not doing anything on my own, I should just do it. Maybe I should do this later. No, I need to do this now while I still have the balls. 

"Hey, can we talk?" I ask him nervously. 

"Yeah sure." He says and leads us to by his car. "So, what did you want to talk about." 

"umm I think that we should... uhh break up. It's not anything you did I just don't think that we work well together." I say stuttering a bit. 

"What? I-I thought we were doing so well though." He says with his eyebrows furrowed. 

"We don't talk, I don't know you. I know the basics but not how your feeling and what you are feeling. You don't know how I feel. We need to break up." I say. 

"Fine then if that is what you want. But I'm going to tell you how I fucking feel about you now.' He says with fury. "I think that you are a fucking cunt who can't tell the difference between being annoying and talkative." And then shoves past me into me his car and drives away. 

When he leaves I start crying. Is that what people think of me? Am I really that annoying? I sit on the curb with my face and my hands with my face sobbing when I hear footsteps.

"Hey, you ok there?" I hear a voice and I think I know who it is. I look up and see him. Tristan. Bingo. 

"No." I say with mascara running down my face along with my tears. 

"What happened?" He asks sitting my the curb putting his arm around me in a comforting manner. 

" I broke up with my boyfriend, well ex boyfriend now and he called me cunt who doesn't know the difference between being talkative and annoying. Is that really how people think of me? Am I really that talkative that it's just annoying?" I rant to him. 

"I think you're fine the way you are. Caleb has always been a bitch. You're not annoying and people don't say you are. Most people like you at Chilton wait no scratch that everyone likes you at Chilton. And I am not just saying that to make you feel better, If I didn't like you I wouldn't tell you that." He says softly.

"Thanks. People make you seem so much worse and I could never understand why." I say. 

" Do you want me to walk you to your car. It's getting late and I don't want you to catch a cold." He says still talking softly like if he speaks to hard I'll break into a million pieces. Almost like if you squeeze to hard on a glass it will break.

"Shit I didn't think about this. I came to school with my friends and I just dumped my ride home." I say. 

"I'll take you home if you want or I could call a cab or something." He says while standing us up still having his arm around me keeping me warm. 

"Can you take me home I don't have any money on me" I say and bend down causing Tristan's  arm to fall to grab by bag on the floor. 

"Yeah sure follow me." He says and starts to walk off to his car. 

I follow him to his car and he opens the passenger door for me and I get in and buckle my seatbelt. Tristan gets into the drivers seat turns on the car then, putting on his seatbelt. 

"You'll be okay. If I know anything about you you'll bounce back." He says and backs up.

"Do you have my address?" I ask not knowing what else to say to him. 

"Yeah." Tristan replies and drives for about five minutes before stopping in my driveway. 

"Hold on." I hear him say before I open my door and I turn to see him going through the side compartment in his door. Than see him rip off a piece of a napkin and with a pen write something down. "If you ever want to talk for any reason call me." He says and gives me part of the napkin. 

"Thanks, Tristan I'll see you at school."

"No problem" 

I open the door and walk out to my door. I open it and see the lights off and I assume everyone went to bed. I walk up to my room and into my bathroom to shower. However, as I walk into the bathroom I look into the mirror and see myself with puffy red eyes, tear stained cheeks painted with mascara. Maybe I am a glass that got squeezed to tightly from one insult. 

But in reality it wasn't just one squeezed it was multiple but for some reason this one hurt more than she wanted. Harlow was given a hard squeeze when she was just a baby and continued to get them as she grew older. The difference between her and other peoples squeeze, some of them never left.