When Spencer lost the person she trusted the most her world collapsed.
Now almost 6 years later, she is longing to find happiness but this isn't as easy as it seems, especially if you struggle with your weight.
Can the mysterious black-haired spanis...
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Damn... Why is it so hot in here?
I'm currently in the kitchen and preparing some scrambled eggs for breakfast, busy wiping the sweat from my forehead with the bad of my hand.
The days after the incident in the valley passed slowly, or at least it seemed so. Probably because of my unilateral daily routine: Wake up, go to work, go home, go to sleep.
I'm all the more pleased that today, with the last working day this week also the Friday has arrived. Maybe I could do something exciting.
Just kidding.
With whom should I?
I take the spatula out of the drawer and place my prepared meal on a plate, adding bacon and two slices of bread. After that, I turn off the stove and place the pan in the sink so that I could clean it later on.
Pushing the plate onto the counter I place myself on the barstool before it to enjoy my breakfast before going to work.
I'm already dressed: Wearing black jeans, a neat white shirt, golden earrings, and matching rings, and my hair bound into a sleek ponytail to keep me from washing it, I feel kinda pretty.
I shove the last pieces of pieces into my mouth before my peace is interrupted by nearing footsteps.
I made out that these belonged to my moms and so I wasn't surprised to see her stumping threw the door to the kitchen only moments later.
Seeing mom, my mind involuntarily wanders to the rather less successful meeting with Norbert her lover aka the nutritionist. After putting off the conversation I wanted to have with my mother for days, I finally decide to take the chance to tell her and my whole family how I feel about everything.
After a short exchange of greetings, I gather all my courage and do what I should have done for a long time.
"I really don't intend to bother you, but would you mind having a short talk, you know..."
"maybe Charles wants to come too", I quickly add to cover the brief silence that lay between us.
I believe that the confrontation in the restaurant affects my mother more than I dared to suspect. I didn't have the opportunity to speak to her, which made me even more insecure.
What is she thinking about me?
Has she perhaps finally realized that she should stop interfering with things related to my weight or appearance. Or is she just amazed by the fact that I dared to stand up against her, my brother, and Norbert?
Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy to have a mom who cares for me. Who loves me. but I think you can understand why I want her to stay out of certain things.
"Sure", she said absently looking through the kitchen, probably thinking about her breakfast.
I felt hope rising in my stomach at this.
Maybe it will all get better now.
"Thanks, mom, it means a lot to me"
And with this, I strode through the door and went to work.
It was already dark, when I locked the door of the bookstore with a key, just like Mrs. Carlson told me before she left me and the customers alone.
The day wasn't this stressful and I even had time to finish the book I brought along with me.
Even though I've been thinking all day about how best to confront my mother and brother, I still feel excited about it and caught myself biting myself more often than usual.
But the excitement reached a whole new level when I walked through the door of our house and saw my mother and brother already sitting at the dining table, waiting for me and what I had to say.
"Hey" I begin awkwardly as I sit down across from my mother "So I don't want to take up too much of your time, but I think you can already guess why I want to talk to you"
No reaction.
Oh this will be a great talk.
"Ehm so yeah... first of all, I wanted to apologize for the inapropiate incident at the restaurant and if I should have embarrassed you, I hereby ask for your forgiveness, but it is very important to me that you are as satisfied with me as I am, especially with what I eat or how I decide to dress. And you have to understand that this whole thing makes me feel bad. Like really bad. I just think you should know this so that you can understand."
"But Spencer, we did this to help you, why won't you understand?", my brother said this phrase once again. I can't hear it anymore.
"But it doesn't feel like you want to help me, it feels like you're the cause of my problem", I told them feeling the anger in my stomach rise.
"Spencer Montgomery!", my mother began with a rather loud and disappointed voice, "After everything we've done for you. How can you be so ungrateful? Just look at you, how can you be satisfied with your body, have you taken a closer look. I mean you thights...
"Stop", I helplessly try to end her speech. Useless.
"No, I won't stop. You don't know what you are saying. Your father would be endlessly disappointed in you if he saw you like that. And Harper. She was everything you arent. She was better than you. In everything. I wish she was there instead."
That's it.
She would have just stabbed me instead.
Her words went straight to my heart and destroyed the part with her inside.
I physically could feel it clenching together.
But instead of crying or shouting something back at her, I simply turned around, my heart heavy with the pain I wasn't even able to cry until i walked out of the door, never looking back.
First, as I rounded the corner of our street I could feel silent tears flowing down my cheek.
But before I could think about anything else, feel anything else I had my phone at my ear and heard a deep male voice grumbling through the speaker.
