This Is The Title

This Is The Title (part 5)

Chapter 19

As the flames died down the crowd grew ever closer to Francis. Faint murmuring could be heard as the townsfolk worried about their local hero. Melanie, her usual smile replaced with a look of disgust, broke from the crowd gathered around him and approached the smoldering body.

He was dead.

In a fit of range she grabbed at his hairline and ripped the skin from his face, tearing through all the stitches.

"I'm not letting you keep my husbands face if THIS is how you choose to treat it."

Storming off Melanie-" There was a loud bang as the door swung open.

"I was wondering when you'd show up." It said.

"Who are you?" The silhouetted man at the door asked.

"Don't concern yourself with that, come sit down" It says, gesturing to the empty seat next to It.

He walks into the room and takes a seat in front of you. The tall lanky man looked like any other man except for one noticeable feature; his face. It wasn't there. The space where his face should be was taken up by a completely smooth, round layer of skin. No eyes, no nose, no lips, just smooth skin in their place. His cheeks stopped where his upper lip should be, meaning he had an unsightly hinge like jaw, with all teeth visible at all times.

"I suppose I should introduce myself, hi I'm-" He begun before being cut off.

"Don't bother Francis, we know who you are. In fact I was just recounting your life to them." It said gesturing towards you.

"Oh alright then. Well don't let me stop you, where were we?" Francis said before It continued.

"Okay let me think, oh right of course! Melanie had just taken her husbands face back after you burnt to a crisp."

"I remember that! I was just there!" Francis exclaimed.

"Yes. Well done." It sighed condescendingly. It knew this wasn't true, but It couldn't be bothered to explain the ethereal nature of this corporeal reality. It took a deep breath in annoyance before continuing; "So Melanie stormed off angrily back to the hospital with the thin layer of face tissue clasped tightly within her fist-"

"That didn't happen!" Francis interrupted.

"How would you know? You're dead."

"I think I know my own life thank you very much, also this story is about me why are you following Melanie now?"

"I can't not follow her for now, I need to tie up loose story threads so that the plot remains consistent and can be followed." It explained.

Francis pulls a copy of the book 'This Is The Title' out from his pocket and flicks to chapter 19. "Your telling it wrong, that's not what happens in the book." Francis says condescendingly.

"Give me that!" It says angrily snatching the book off him to take a look. Its brow furrows in annoyance. "I think I know how to tell a story now kindly, shut the fuck up." It said throwing the book over its, what you can only assume, is a shoulder.

Rolling its eyes, it continued. "The Baguette-" It looked at Francis irritated. "-snapped back to consciousness. It ran over to the crowd of people and pushed through towards Francis' body.

"Oh no. No no no no no." It panicked while attempting to perform CPR on a crispy, warm, clearly dead body. After an hour of relentlessly trying it admitted defeat.

"Its too soon, it can't be happening already." The Baguette said under it's breath as a doughy tear slowly rolled down it's uh, cheek? Do anthropomorphized food stuffs have faces?"