Chapter One: Idols

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I reject the idea that women are only beautiful when they're all gussied up, but that mentality does not turn me into any less of an idiot when I see her.

Julia, my beautiful girlfriend, can usually be found in jeans and tee shirts, her hair in a bun or straightened loose about her shoulders. Tonight, she wears a long dress of ice-blue fabric. The dress is strapless and her chest is adorned with a wide, glittering necklace of white gems that hang over her pale skin like a chandelier. Matching earrings frame her face, making her blue eyes pierce into my soul. Her hair has been carefully curled and pinned atop her head, a loose ringlet breaking from the gorgeous updo to fall around her cheekbone. Her nails are painted white, her eyes surrounded by dark makeup, her lipstick like pink icing.

She smiles as I hang in the doorway, drinking in every aspect of her appearance. "You like it?" she asks. I see she has changed the bands on her braces to match the dress. The detail, small as it is, overwhelms me.

"You look amazing," I say breathlessly. I look down at myself. "Idols, I should've worn a tux."

"'Idols'?" her father asks from the living room. Her mother, Rita, tells me I should call him Mike, but I only ever refer to him as Mr. Rhodes. "Is that some Pagan thing?"

"Catholic, sir," I lie, hating my slip. Especially in front of Mr. Rhodes. He's one of the "good old boys". He threw a fit when Julia and I first started to date. She told me it was because we were both sixteen, but I've learned the truth. If I were white, he wouldn't have fought it so hard.

Mr. Rhodes makes a face. "Asians can be Catholic?"

"Dad," Julia mutters through gritted teeth.

"When my grandparents came over, the only people who accepted them were Catholics. They converted," I lie wildly, trying to get him to shut up.

"Hm," Mr. Rhodes decides of this, returning his attention to the TV.

"Oh, Ethan!" Rita calls, rushing into the room with her phone. "You look so handsome! Matching hanky and everything..."

My mother guided me through choosing my outfit. Black suit, white shirt underneath, and an ice-blue handkerchief folded into my breast pocket. Not as fancy as a tux, but I felt pretty bougie until I saw Julia.

"Ethan!" squeaks Tyler, Julia's older brother, in a mimicry of their mother, slinking down the stairs to collapse on the couch beside his dad. He looks back at me. "How far is that stick up your ass tonight?"

Mr. Rhodes laughs as Rita waves her hand. "Ignore them," she says, posing Julia and I together. "Smile!"

Tyler puts his feet on the coffee table and raises his hips so I can see his lower abdomen, then makes a jerking-off motion. Mr. Rhodes laughs again. But I'm used to this. I smile brilliantly into the lens of Rita's phone as she takes a picture.

"You're disgusting, Tyler," Julia tells her brother, smacking the side of his head before she grabs a small blue purse from beside the door and walks outside.

I turn to Rita. "She'll be back by ten."

Rita nods and smiles at me, but she's preoccupied with her son. "What did you do, Tyler?"

I grin as I shut the door and join Julia outside. She looks cold, so I take off my jacket for her as we walk to my truck.

"You're supposed to do that after the dance," she informs me.

"Do you want me to take it back?" I ask flatly.

"No," she says, snuggling it closer. I give her a quick hug and a kiss on the forehead before we get inside my truck.

"I'm sorry it's always like that," Julia apologizes once I start the engine.

"I'm used to it," I tell her, shrugging as I start to drive. I look over at her and catch flashes, slivers of her beauty as the streetlights pass overhead. Her eyes glitter just as her necklace does.

"That doesn't make me feel any better," she says.

"Jules," I say, reaching for her hand. "If it bothered me, I'd say something. I'm not hurt. I'm just a pacificist."

"August," she says wistfully. "Then we're done. We can move to Eugene."

I smile when I think of our plan. Our hometown, Roseburg, is not known for being friendly to minorities. Julia, who discovered herself to bisexual when she was thirteen, has always dreamt of moving somewhere more progressive. She wants to cut off her hair and get tattoos. We have spent long hours looking at pictures of tattoos online, talking about what she is going to get and where. Her desire to move to Eugene was only increased when she started dating me. Vietnamese people are far from the most persecuted minority around here, but anyone not cisgender, heterosexual, abled, Christian and Caucasian is playing the game on hard mode.

"He was actually tame tonight," I say, trying to cheer her up.

"There's a reason for that," Julia mutters. "He said some shit to Karmen the other day and Tyler lost his mind. I seriously thought the cops were going to get called."

My heart sinks. Karmen Torres, Tyler's girlfriend, is Mexican. This town might begrudgingly acknowledge that I'm probably harmless, but Mexicans are not viewed nearly as kindly.

I make a mental note to talk to Karmen later. Make sure she is okay.

We are, after all, part of the same pack.


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